She Strengthens

The Unspoken Influence of Our Upbringing on Our Financial Decisions

Growing up in poverty shapes our financial mindset in profound ways. My own experiences have had a lasting impact on my relationship with money. I recall the embarrassment of not having anything to show off on St. Nicholas’ Day, while my classmates proudly displayed their gifts. Little did I know, my mother struggled to provide for us, and her birthday, coinciding with St. Nicholas’ Day, was a painful reminder of our circumstances.

From Poverty to Middle Class

After my mother remarried, our family’s fortunes changed. We could afford simple luxuries like McDonald’s once a week and doing laundry at home. These small improvements made a significant difference in my life. I worked hard to become financially independent, determined to break free from the cycle of poverty.

The Stigma of Financial Aid

During my time in AmeriCorps, I had to rely on food stamps, which was a humbling experience. I felt pitied, embarrassed, and lesser-than, just like my mother must have felt when she struggled to provide for us. This experience taught me the importance of being resourceful and making the most of what I have.

Living with Financial Guilt

Even today, I feel guilty when I splurge on something for myself. A $30 purchase can leave me reeling for days. However, I’m proud of my ability to make do with what I have, a skill honed from years of going without. My upbringing didn’t teach me how to manage money, but it instilled in me a sense of resourcefulness and determination.

Taking Control of My Finances

I created a spreadsheet to track my financial aid debt and monthly expenses, which was a daunting task. With the help of a financial analyst, I realized I was on par with my peers, minus the credit card debt. This revelation empowered me to take control of my finances and make informed decisions.

Learning from My Partner

My partner has been instrumental in teaching me about investing, saving, and planning for the future. She’s shown me that facing my financial fears and taking small steps towards planning can make a significant difference. I’ve learned to appreciate the value of having a solid financial foundation, which has given me peace of mind.

Embracing My Financial Reality

I’m not afraid of my student loan debt anymore. Instead, I’m proactive about managing it and making informed decisions about my finances. I’ve come to realize that financial stability is not just about having money; it’s about having the freedom to make choices that align with my values.

A Lesson for My Generation

Many of us in our 20s and 30s have grown up watching struggle around us. We know what it means to go without, and we’ve learned to appreciate the value of hard work and resourcefulness. While we may make mistakes along the way, we can choose to remember the lessons of our upbringing and make conscious decisions about our finances.