She Strengthens

A Financial Awakening at 30

As I blew out the candles on my 30th birthday cake, I couldn’t help but feel like I was still stuck in my teenage years. The fear of being alone, the uncertainty of my financial future, and the weight of my past mistakes all swirled together in a perfect storm of anxiety. But it was time to face the music.

A History of Dependency

For most of my life, I’ve been in a relationship. It wasn’t just about love; it was also about security. I’d always had a male figure to lean on, someone to share the financial burdens with. And let’s be real, it was often the man who paid the bills. I know, I know – it’s a cliché, but it’s true. I was never close with my dad, and that void manifested in my relationships. I’d jump from one boyfriend to the next, never truly alone.

The Financial Safety Net

Being in a relationship meant I didn’t have to worry about money as much. My boyfriends would often cover more expenses than I did, and when we lived together, we’d split the costs of rent, utilities, and groceries. It was a comfortable setup, but it also meant I wasn’t taking responsibility for my own finances. When my last relationship ended, I was forced to confront the harsh reality of my $45,000 salary.

Rock Bottom

With only $2,000 in savings accumulated over three years, I was left with a daunting task: starting from scratch. The breakup was tough, but the financial shock was even tougher. I cried just as much about my empty bank account as I did about the end of our relationship. Moving out and furnishing my new apartment drained my savings, leaving me with a mere $54.

A Turning Point

My initial reaction was to jump back into the dating scene, to distract myself from the pain and uncertainty. But after a few failed Tinder dates, I realized I needed to take control of my finances. I downloaded a budgeting app and started tracking my expenses. It wasn’t easy, but I made some tough decisions, like cutting back on my expensive gym membership. In February, I managed to save $300 – a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

A Newfound Independence

Every month, I’m working to save more, and I keep a screenshot of my account balance at $54 as a reminder of how far I’ve come. It’s a feeling of shame and embarrassment that I never want to experience again. I’ve put dating on hold until I reach my goal of $3,000 in savings or six months into my 30s, whichever comes first. For the first time in my life, I’m focused on my financial goals, not my romantic ones.

Growing Up, Finally

It’s scary to admit, but I feel like a teenager again, navigating the world for the first time. Everything feels new, everything feels uncertain. But maybe that’s a blessing in disguise. Maybe this is the push I needed to take control of my finances, to grow up, and to finally be alone.