She Strengthens

Breaking Free from Financial Guilt

Growing up, my mom was my rock. As a single mother living in the suburbs of New Jersey, she worked tirelessly to provide for me, often sacrificing her own needs for mine. Despite the financial struggles, she managed to attend PTO meetings, sporting events, and even borrowed money from my grandmother when necessary. Our close bond made the events that unfolded later in life all the more challenging to navigate.

A New Chapter Unfolds

When I graduated from high school, I received a scholarship to attend a prestigious college in New York City. Although I couldn’t afford to live in student housing, the commute from New Jersey was manageable. I worked hard, maintained a high GPA, and even landed a part-time job on campus to cover my expenses. After four years, I felt proud to have achieved financial independence.

A Dream Job, but at What Cost?

After graduating, I landed a well-paying job at a financial institution in the city. The excitement was short-lived, however, as my mom’s financial struggles continued. She had lost her lucrative job and was still unemployed ten months later. I started contributing to the household expenses, which seemed like the right thing to do. But when I got my new job, my mom’s expectations increased, and I felt pressured to take on more financial responsibility.

A Difficult Decision

As I considered moving out with a roommate, my mom’s uncertainty was palpable. She was still struggling financially and had never been a saver. I decided to stay with her for another year to help her get back on her feet. While it seemed like the right thing to do, it soon felt like I was taking care of my mother in ways that other 23-year-olds weren’t.

Resentment and Anxiety

Over time, my mom’s neediness increased, and I felt like I was missing out on the carefree life of a young professional. Friends were moving out, traveling, and enjoying happy hours, while I was stuck commuting back and forth to New Jersey every day. I felt anxious, stressed, and resentful, which affected my relationship with my mom. We barely spoke, and I started staying out of the house as much as possible.

A Turning Point

One day, our tensions boiled over into a massive shouting match that ended in tears. It was a wake-up call for both of us. I realized it was time to venture out on my own, and my mom began planning her move to Florida to live with my grandmother. I finally moved into a two-bedroom apartment in Jersey City with a friend, and today, I’m building a savings account and living life on my own terms.

A New Chapter

Although our relationship is still a bit tense, I’m confident that things will improve. My mom’s life is easier now, and the dynamic between us is less strained. While I feel I was taken advantage of to some extent, I know my mom didn’t intend to harm me. We can move past this chapter of our lives and rebuild our relationship.