She Strengthens

Finding Financial Harmony in Relationships

When it comes to dating, the age-old question of who should pay the bill can be a contentious one. For me, the answer is simple: my boyfriend and I split the costs 50/50. But here’s the thing – he earns more than I do, and will likely continue to do so for the rest of our lives. So, why do we insist on splitting the bill?

A History of Financial Disparity

My boyfriend has always had a financial edge over me. He graduated from medical school debt-free, while I’m about to start law school, funded entirely by loans. His career as a doctor will undoubtedly bring in a higher income than my public-interest law career. Despite this, we’ve always maintained a sense of financial independence and equality in our relationship.

The Importance of Mutual Respect

I cherish my financial autonomy and the freedom to make my own decisions about how I spend my money. I believe it’s essential to respect each other’s financial boundaries and priorities. My boyfriend works hard for his money, and I don’t think it’s fair to dictate how he should spend it. Similarly, I expect him to respect my financial decisions and not try to control my spending.

Adapting to Changing Circumstances

Our financial situations have ebbed and flowed over the years, and we’ve learned to adapt. When I was applying to law school, my boyfriend took on more of the financial burden, recognizing that I had less disposable income. We didn’t try to maintain our usual spending habits; instead, we scaled back and found ways to have fun on a budget.

Honest Communication is Key

The secret to our financial harmony lies in open and honest communication. We discuss our financial situations and priorities regularly, ensuring that we’re both on the same page. This approach prevents us from feeling like we’re “keeping score” or competing with each other.

A Balanced Approach

In the future, our financial balance may shift to reflect our changing income levels. But for now, we’re content with our 50/50 split. It’s not about trying to keep up with each other or proving a point; it’s about feeling equally invested in our relationship.

The Most Feminist Approach

Ultimately, the most important thing is finding a financial balance that works for both partners. It’s not about earning equal amounts of money or following a specific formula. It’s about mutual respect, trust, and a deep understanding of each other’s financial priorities. In the end, it’s not about the money itself, but about the harmony and equality it brings to our relationship.