She Strengthens

Embracing Independence Before Merging Lives

When it comes to love and money, I hold a strong, albeit unpopular, opinion: you shouldn’t move in with your significant other if you’re still financially dependent on your parents. It’s crucial to establish independence before sharing a roof with someone you could spend the rest of your life with.

The Importance of Self-Sufficiency

Cohabiting with your partner often involves shared expenses, but that’s separate from being able to support yourself independently. I’ve seen friends get married or move in together while still relying on their parents for financial support. However, I believe that true independence is essential before merging your life with someone else’s.

The Risks of Financial Dependence

Research suggests that continued financial support from parents can hinder independence and motivation in young adults. It’s fine for parents to offer gifts, but only if their children are otherwise self-sufficient and don’t demand money. If parents constantly rescue their children, it can stifle growth and development.

Exceptions to the Rule

There are two exceptions to my rule: living with parents to save money and build an emergency fund, and receiving parental help with loan payments. These scenarios demonstrate a proactive approach to financial stability, making it easier to move in with a significant other in the future.

My Personal Journey

My partner and I have been together for two years, and we’re working towards moving in together. We’ve achieved independence from our parents’ health insurance and pay for our own living expenses. However, I still have one outstanding bill under my father’s name, which I’m working to rectify. Once I’ve taken full ownership of that bill, I’ll feel financially ready to merge my life with my partner’s.

The Path to Financial Maturity

For me, being financially stable means being able to cover all my expenses, save regularly, and make informed decisions about my money. Until I can confidently say I don’t need my parents’ financial support, I won’t feel comfortable moving in with someone I could spend the rest of my life with. It’s essential to establish a strong financial foundation before building a life together.