Breaking Free from the Clean Eating Obsession
As I scrolled through social media, I stumbled upon an article that made me pause. A juice guru from Los Angeles had shared her daily food diary, and it seemed to have gone viral. I couldn’t help but think back to my own struggles with disordered eating and how far I’ve come.
A Personal Reflection
My journey with raw veganism and “clean eating” was, in hindsight, a disorder. I’m still in treatment, but I’ve come to realize that it’s not my place to judge others who may be following a similar diet. What I can speak to, however, is the financial and class aspect of this obsession.
The Cost of Perfection
For me, orthorexia was deeply tied to my desire to project a certain level of class and education. I worked in an industry where being thin, well-dressed, and from a wealthy family was highly valued. As someone from a working-class background, I felt like an outsider. I compensated by becoming obsessed with healthy eating and yoga, spending a significant portion of my paycheck on juices, organic produce, and vegan restaurants. It was all about control and distancing myself from my roots.
The Illusion of Self-Control
I justified these purchases by telling myself I was “investing in myself” because “my body is my temple.” It gave me a sense of superiority, but it was all just a facade. In reality, I was wasting money and neglecting my financial security. It wasn’t until I entered recovery that I realized the true cost of my actions.
Finding Balance
Today, I’m proud to say that I eat a healthy, balanced, and affordable diet. I enjoy a variety of foods, including junk food, in moderation. I prioritize sustainability and organic options when possible, but I also make room for canned veggies and frozen meals. It’s been a journey to let go of the class validation that came with my old lifestyle, but I’ve learned that balance is key.
The Danger of “Clean Eating”
The term “clean eating” is vague and dangerous, promoting a moralized view of food as either “pure” or “unpure.” It’s a mindset that can lead to obsession, waste, and harm to our mental and physical health. I’m no longer the girl who feels superior when she turns down a piece of cake because it’s “unclean.” I’m the girl who accepts that food is a part of the human experience, and that joy and indulgence have their place.
Leave a Reply