She Strengthens

Breaking Free from Financial Abuse: One Woman’s Journey

Financial abuse is a topic that’s often shrouded in silence, but it’s essential to bring it to light. Sharing personal experiences can be a powerful way to help others avoid similar struggles. Today, we’re going to explore one woman’s courageous journey of escaping a financially abusive relationship.

Recognizing the Warning Signs

Kendra Syrdal, a survivor of financial abuse, shares her story of how she finally acknowledged the problems in her relationship. “I had known the relationship wasn’t healthy for a while, but I was in a fog and bad mental state that I put those feelings on the backburner.” However, when she discovered her partner was stealing from his roommates, despite her efforts to pay his bills, she realized she couldn’t ignore the issue anymore.

The Struggle to Accept Reality

Kendra admits that it took therapy and reflection to understand the full extent of the abuse. Even then, she struggled to talk about it, often making excuses or taking blame that wasn’t hers. “It’s not productive when you’re trying to move forward,” she says.

Identifying Red Flags

Looking back, Kendra recognizes several warning signs she ignored: substance abuse, mental health issues, and a refusal to acknowledge the problems in their relationship. She wanted to believe that her efforts would keep the good times coming, but eventually, she realized the cost was too high.

Taking Back Control

So, how did Kendra extract herself from the situation? She surrendered control, asked for help, and let her friends and family step in. Her mom helped her block her ex’s number, file for a restraining order, and monitor her spending. Her best friend even moved in to ensure her safety. Kendra acknowledges that it was embarrassing, but necessary.

Rebuilding and Recovery

Kendra’s journey wasn’t easy. She struggled with feelings of failure and had to relearn how to function as a grown-up. She started a payment plan to pay back her parents and began remembering how to take care of herself. Her advice to others? “You don’t need to be afraid to ask for help. It’s going to be scary, but someone will be able to help you.”

Sharing the Truth with Loved Ones

Telling her friends and family about the abuse was a challenge. Kendra’s parents were initially supportive, but eventually, they didn’t trust her to make healthy decisions. With her friends, she was selective about who she confided in, as some remained friends with her ex. The experience taught her that earning back trust takes time and effort.

The Hardest Part

For Kendra, the most difficult part was accepting that the relationship was over. She had to remind herself that it was okay to let go and focus on her own well-being. Her story serves as a powerful reminder that seeking help and support is crucial in breaking free from financial abuse.