She Strengthens

Breaking Free from the Chains of “Should”

For a long time, the word “should” dictated my every move. I thought I should major in political science because it was expected of me. I should apply for a prestigious leadership program because others thought I’d be perfect for it. So, I did. But six months in, I was miserable. The program’s promises fell flat, and I felt trapped. Yet, I stayed for another nine months because I thought it was the “right” thing to do.

A New Mindset

That was until December 2015, when I made a vow to myself to shift from “should” to “want.” I decided to make choices based on my desires, not obligations. The next morning, I submitted my resignation letter and scheduled an exit interview. It was exhilarating, but also daunting. I had to start job hunting immediately, which was intimidating and draining.

The Root of the Problem

As I struggled to find new opportunities, I realized that the process forced me to acknowledge my successes and accomplishments. But I had a problem: I couldn’t accept compliments or praise. I felt like I didn’t deserve it, that I was overestimating my contributions. This mentality had to change if I wanted to succeed.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

My growth began when I switched from “should” to “want.” Here’s what I’ve found essential on this journey:

Seeking Feedback from Others

I interviewed friends, family, and mentors about what they love about me. It was tough, but necessary. They helped me identify my strengths and talents that I hadn’t recognized before.

Self-Reflection and Empowerment

I took time to figure out what I love about myself. This step encourages self-empowerment and helps you recognize your own strengths.

A Love Letter to Myself

I wrote a love letter to myself, and I recommend you do the same. It’s a necessary step to boost your confidence and prepare for challenging times ahead.

Meditation and Reflection

Regular meditation and reflection are crucial. They help you recognize small improvements and build endurance for tough times.

A Growth Letter to Myself

I wrote a growth letter, acknowledging areas for improvement and opportunities for positive change. It’s not a list of things I don’t like about myself, but a roadmap for growth.

By following these steps, I’ve been able to break free from the chains of “should” and embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment.