She Strengthens

Breaking Free from the Cycle of Addiction

For me, the line between alcohol abuse and addiction was thin, but I knew I had to take control of my life. It took five years of struggling with my demons, but finally, I acknowledged the damage I had inflicted upon myself. My support system, comprising loving family and friends, was my rock, but I knew I couldn’t keep relying on them while I continued to drink myself into oblivion.

Confronting the Truth

I made a list of friends I had lost due to my destructive behavior, aptly titled “Reasons I Drink.” The painful memories it evoked were a harsh reminder of the person I used to be. I ceremoniously burned the list, symbolizing my commitment to change. Inspired by a website, I decided to calculate the financial cost of my addiction. The results were staggering.

The Financial Toll

Getting a DUI: $1,500 in court costs and penalties
Lawyer fees to prevent jail time: $7,000
Increase in insurance fees: $3,432 ($143 more per month for two years)
Total: $11,932

Loan from Sallie Mae for a community college program: $20,000
Apartment damages fees: $432
Lost wages from being fired: $5,184
Total so far: $37,548

The actual cost of alcohol was an estimate, but a sobering one:
Social drinking: $2,600
Destructive crying sessions: $576
Total depression mode: $600
Alcohol total: $3,776
Grand total: $41,324

Finding Redemption

As I gazed at these numbers, I felt a sense of responsibility wash over me. I knew I had to make amends and start anew. I’m currently taking classes at my community college, paying out of pocket, and aiming to increase my student loan payments. I’ve transitioned to jobs with less drinking culture and nocturnal hours.

A New Chapter

I’ve started saving money, putting aside what I would’ve spent on a six-pack. The amount is small, but it’s growing, symbolizing my progress. I’ve learned that mistakes add up quickly, but repairing them takes time and effort. I accept that I may slip up again, but I’m committed to holding myself accountable and practicing forgiveness.

Appreciating Life’s Value

More than anything, I’m working to improve my quality of life, cherishing the good relationships I have, and the time I’ve gained back since I stopped blacking out. Every dollar I earn, every moment I spend sober, is a step away from the person I used to be.