She Strengthens

Breaking Free from the Grip of Addiction

As I reflect on my past, I’m reminded of the countless times I squandered my hard-earned money on a dangerous habit – Adderall. I was the epitome of a 20-something professional in New York City, complete with a flashy gym membership, endless brunches, and a high-stress job in PR. But beneath the surface, I was trapped in a cycle of addiction.

A Descent into Darkness

My rock bottom moment came when I woke up, disoriented and shaking, on a subway platform I’d never visited before. The haze of partying and substance abuse had become my norm, and I was powerless to stop it. Despite my relatively “tame” addiction compared to others, I knew I had to break free.

The Financial Toll

In 2015, I spent a staggering $21,000 on my addiction – a sum that could have been better spent on building a secure financial future. I would splurge on luxuries, Uber rides, and expensive cocktails, all while draining my savings. My salary, just under $80,000, was no match for my reckless spending.

The Allure of Adderall

In my industry and social circle, Adderall was rampant. Many women, including myself, took it to stay thin and excel at work. The drug’s dual benefits – effortless weight loss and enhanced productivity – made it a tempting crutch. But as my dosage increased, the side effects became more pronounced, turning me into a monster.

The Road to Recovery

Quitting Adderall was brutal, but necessary. I faced a maelstrom of fatigue, irritability, and physical symptoms. The hardest part was confessing my addiction to my employer, who had been patient and understanding despite my erratic behavior. Her kindness only added to my guilt.

A New Chapter

This year, I’m proud to say I’ve spent zero dollars on Adderall. I’ve adopted a more balanced lifestyle, trading in my partying days for yoga and a side job to rebuild my emergency fund. I’ve even gained a little weight, and I couldn’t be happier. My journey serves as a reminder that honesty and self-awareness are key to breaking free from addiction. If you suspect you’re trapped in a similar cycle, don’t be afraid to seek help and start anew.