She Strengthens

Rethinking Success: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Growing up, I had a clear vision of my ideal life. I wanted to attend a top university, live in a big city, earn a high salary, and get married by 25. These goals were deeply rooted in my mind, and I believed achieving them would make me successful and happy. But where did these aspirations come from?

The Influence of Others

My elder sister was my role model. She was praised by many and seemed to be on track to achieve everything I wanted. I assumed that becoming someone like her would bring me success and make my parents proud. The media reinforced these ideals, and I didn’t question whether they aligned with my personal desires.

A Narrow Definition of Success

As I worked towards my goals, I struggled to understand why I wanted what I wanted. Whenever I achieved something that wasn’t exactly what I’d planned, I felt like a failure. It wasn’t until my life took an unexpected turn that I realized my values were imposed by family and society, not based on self-knowledge.

Embracing Change and Self-Discovery

I took risks, seized opportunities, and faced my insecurities. Through these experiences, I gained insight into my inner life and values. My thinking evolved, and I improvised my own definition of success. I learned that it’s okay for my definition to change and that I shouldn’t be chained to one idea.

Breaking Free from Unrealistic Expectations

You can’t find happiness by trying to achieve someone else’s definition of success. You discover your values by letting go of unrealistic ideals and restrictive labels. Don’t stress about not fitting into a predetermined plan. You’re not failing; you’re getting to know yourself better.

Living a Goal-Oriented Life with Flexibility

To open yourself up to change while still being driven, try the following:

1. Create a Future Self list, outlining who you want to be and when.
2. Break down your goals into daily tasks.
3. Write reminders to accept changes and give yourself time.
4. Embrace each experience with an open mind, allowing it to shape your values and plans.
5. Give yourself credit for your progress.
6. Celebrate every achievement, no matter how small.
7. Repeat the process as your mindset and values evolve.

Remember, as long as you don’t give up on yourself, you’re doing fine. Keep moving forward with an open mind and attention to your true wants and needs. Everything will work out, maybe not as planned, but that’s where the joy lies.