She Strengthens

Navigating the Complex Dance of Money and Dating

When it comes to dating, every move feels like a carefully choreographed step. From the subtle gestures to the more overt displays of affection, we’re constantly reading between the lines to understand our partner’s intentions. And when it comes to money, the stakes are even higher.

The Importance of Financial Independence

For some, feeling financially “taken care of” on a date is a welcome gesture. Others appreciate the independence that comes with splitting the bill. But what happens when these expectations clash? I used to get a thrill from going on dates with men who picked up the check, but as I grew older, I began to feel uncomfortable with the imbalance. I started asserting myself in the payment process, but learned that there were delicate ways to do so.

Money Moves: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

We’ve all been on dates where the money dynamics felt off. Whether it’s the guy who insists on paying for everything or the woman who lays down a large bill but forgets to tip, these moments can be telling. Marianne recalls a date who said, “I know you’re a feminist, so I’m not even going to try to pay for your ticket.” Lea, on the other hand, was turned off by a date who paid the bill but left a terrible tip, signaling a lack of moral judgment.

Then there are the dates who take financial independence to an extreme. Rachel went on a date with a guy who screamed “TWO SEPARATE CHECKS, PLEASE” before the waitress even had a chance to bring the bill. Jessie, meanwhile, was taken aback when her date broke down every item on the bill individually, calculating exactly how much she owed.

The Power of Financial Parity

In an intimate relationship, finances can hold significant emotional sway. When we’re on a date, we’re not just navigating the intricacies of romance – we’re also negotiating the delicate dance of money. Kathleen recalls a date who took her to Barnes & Noble and told her to buy any book she could afford, a gesture that felt more like a test than a treat. Nell, on the other hand, was taken aback when her date told her she could only order one thing at P.F. Chang’s.

When it comes to money and dating, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. But by being aware of our own expectations and values, we can navigate these complex dynamics with more ease. And who knows? We might just find that financial parity is the key to a stronger, healthier relationship.