She Strengthens

The Unspoken Boundaries of Personal Choice

As a newlywed, I’ve grown accustomed to a particular question that seems to follow me everywhere: “When are you going to have kids?” It’s a query that arises with alarming frequency, often from people I barely know. My coworkers, acquaintances, even strangers on the internet – everyone seems to think it’s their business to ask about my reproductive plans.

Assumptions and Intrusions

But here’s the thing: asking about someone’s plans for parenthood is rooted in three dangerous assumptions. Firstly, it assumes that I want to have children, which isn’t necessarily the case. Many women in my generation are choosing not to have kids, and it’s not up to anyone else to question or judge their decision.

Secondly, it assumes that I’m physically capable of having children, which isn’t always true. For those struggling with infertility, being constantly asked about their reproductive plans can be a painful reminder of their struggles.

Lastly, it assumes that I’m interested in having this deeply personal conversation with you, right now, which is highly unlikely. Trying for pregnancy and having a baby are monumental decisions that shouldn’t be treated as casual conversation topics.

Respecting Personal Boundaries

I understand that people might ask out of genuine interest or concern, but it’s essential to recognize that these questions can be intrusive and even hurtful. If I want to discuss my plans, I’ll bring it up myself. Otherwise, it’s not your business to know.

There are exceptions, of course – close family members, friends, and partners have earned the right to ask about my plans. But for everyone else, it’s crucial to respect my personal boundaries and let me initiate the conversation.

Empathy and Caution

I’m not asking people to be dismissive or uninterested in my life. Rather, I’m asking them to be mindful of their words and actions. If you’re unsure whether to ask about someone’s reproductive plans, err on the side of caution. Remember that having kids is not a given for every woman, and it’s not your place to assume otherwise.

By respecting women’s personal choices and boundaries, we can create a more empathetic and considerate society. So, let’s strive to be more thoughtful in our interactions, and let women initiate conversations about their reproductive plans when they’re ready.