She Strengthens

Rethinking Self-Care: Beyond the Feel-Good Factor

In today’s digital age, the concept of self-care has taken on a life of its own. What was once a noble pursuit of prioritizing one’s well-being has morphed into a justification for indulgent behavior and shirking responsibilities. As one astute observer aptly put it, “Just because you’re spending money on yourself doesn’t mean it’s ‘elf-care’ any more than being frugal means you don’t give a shit about yourself.”

The Internet’s Warped Definition of Self-Care

The online world has created a culture where self-care is synonymous with doing whatever makes us feel good in the moment, regardless of the long-term consequences or impact on others. This flawed definition has given rise to a phenomenon where individuals prioritize their immediate desires over their long-term well-being. It’s a mentality that says, “I deserve to feel good, and anyone who gets in the way is simply un-empathetic or overly demanding.”

The Consequences of Aggressive Self-Care

While this approach may provide temporary satisfaction, it ultimately falls apart when we acknowledge our interconnectedness with others. Friends, family, partners, employers, and colleagues all have their own priorities and needs, which cannot be dismissed as simply “un-empathetic” or “overly demanding.” By prioritizing our own desires above all else, we risk damaging relationships and neglecting our responsibilities.

A More Balanced Approach to Self-Care

It’s essential to recognize that true self-care goes beyond mere feel-good indulgences. It involves making responsible, long-term-oriented choices that contribute to our overall well-being. This may mean pushing through unpleasant tasks, making sacrifices, and prioritizing our financial futures. These choices, though difficult in the short term, ultimately lead to a greater sense of self-determination and fulfillment.

The Limitations of Happiness as a Goal

Our culture’s obsession with happiness as an emotional resting state has created unrealistic expectations. The truth is that no human can be happy all the time, and it’s the experiences of dissatisfaction, failure, and frustration that help us grow and develop as individuals. By acknowledging the importance of these emotions, we can cultivate a more balanced and fruitful life.

Rethinking Self-Care for the Long Haul

True self-care shouldn’t be about what feels good in the moment, but about making choices that align with our long-term goals and values. It’s about recognizing that temporary discomfort can lead to lasting growth and development. By adopting a more mature and nuanced approach to self-care, we can build a stronger, more resilient sense of self that will serve us well throughout our lives.