She Strengthens

My Backyard Wedding: A Celebration of Love and Frugality

This August, I’ll be exchanging vows with my partner in an intimate ceremony at my parents’ backyard, surrounded by close friends and family. The idea struck me a few summers ago, when my mom turned 60 and we threw a party that was both joyful and low-key. With minimal planning and a few clever shortcuts, we created an unforgettable celebration that felt truly “us.”

A Budget-Friendly Affair

Our wedding will likely cost under $3,000, a far cry from the average $30,000 spent by many couples. Here’s how we’re keeping costs down:

• We’re keeping the guest list small, with around 30 attendees.
• I’ll be wearing my grandmother’s rings, a sentimental and cost-free choice.
• We’re skipping the bridal party and doing our own hair, makeup, and nails.
• We’re preparing most of the food ourselves and buying a few hundred dollars’ worth of appetizers and drinks.
• We’ve rented a tent, chairs, and plates for a reasonable $260.
• I found a beautiful vintage dress for under $300, with minimal alterations needed.
• My partner’s sister, a talented baker, is gifting us a stunning wedding cake.
• We’re investing in a high-quality photographer, courtesy of my sister’s business, with a generous family discount.

The “Wedding Shaming” Debate

Whenever the topic of budget-friendly weddings arises, some critics accuse the brides of “bragging” or “shaming” those who opt for more lavish celebrations. But is sharing one’s financial choices really an attack on others? I think not. Women who choose to spend less on their weddings are simply highlighting alternative approaches, not seeking to shame or delegitimize others’ decisions.

Respecting Vendors and Choices

As someone with family ties to the wedding industry, I respect the need for vendors to earn a living. That’s why I’m prioritizing quality vendors, like my photographer, while taking a DIY approach to other aspects of the wedding. It’s about finding a balance between celebrating our love and being mindful of our finances.

Embracing Criticism and Self-Awareness

In the end, it’s not about “wedding shaming” or “maintenance shaming.” It’s about acknowledging that our financial decisions will be criticized by someone, somewhere. We can choose to be defensive and try to silence others, or we can own our choices and move forward with confidence. As women, we must become self-aware and take responsibility for our financial decisions, even if they don’t align with others’ expectations.