She Strengthens

Rethinking Dating Etiquette: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Growing up in a traditional Dominican family, I was taught that men should always foot the bill on dates. However, as I entered my teenage years in the liberal city of New York, I began to question these outdated norms. My first real relationship was a turning point, as I realized that I didn’t need a man to buy me happiness. In fact, I felt that accepting gifts or money would make me feel obligated to reciprocate, almost like a transaction.

The Highs and Lows of Young Love

At 17, I fell deeply in love with my 19-year-old boyfriend. He was charming, had a job, and impressed my family. But as our relationship progressed, he lost his job, and I became the primary breadwinner. I took on the financial burden, paying for dinners, cell phone bills, and even helping him with job applications. Despite my efforts, he struggled to find employment, and I began to notice a pattern of irresponsibility.

A Lesson in Self-Worth

After a year of supporting him, I realized that I had invested too much time and money into the relationship. But I couldn’t give up – not yet. When he finally landed a full-time job, I thought our financial struggles were over. However, he had other plans, prioritizing nights out with friends over spending time with me. It took me three years to acknowledge that I deserved better.

Breaking Free from Toxic Patterns

I eventually ended the relationship and started dating again. But this time, I made the mistake of swinging to the opposite extreme, expecting my partner to pay for everything. It wasn’t until he called me out on my behavior that I realized I was perpetuating the same toxic patterns. I had to confront my fears of being taken advantage of and learn to communicate my financial boundaries.

Finding Balance in Relationships

Through these experiences, I’ve learned three essential lessons: avoid extremes when it comes to who pays, communicate openly with your partner, and prioritize financial compatibility. It’s crucial to set budgets and be honest about your financial situations. Don’t assume that your partner can afford lavish dates or that they’re obligated to pay. By being on the same financial page, you can avoid awkward silences and build a stronger, more equal relationship.

Embracing Financial Freedom

In today’s social media-driven world, it’s easy to get caught up in the pressure to keep up appearances. But being broke is not worth the Instagram likes. I’ve learned the hard way that financial freedom in relationships is key. By communicating openly and respecting each other’s boundaries, you can build a healthier, more fulfilling partnership. Don’t let cultural norms or personal biases dictate your relationship’s financial dynamics – take control of your financial freedom.