The Illusion of Transformation
As a child, I was captivated by the idea that grown-up women wore high heels. Perhaps it was the influence of cartoon movies or my fascination with my mother’s shoes. Whatever the reason, I was convinced that heels were a necessary component of adulthood. My first purchase was a pair of pink eyelet wedges, which I wore for a week before realizing they were impractical for everyday life.
The Pursuit of an Ideal
For years, I continued to buy heels, despite knowing they wouldn’t be comfortable. I was drawn to the status symbol they represented in New York City, where a taxi ride was a marker of wealth. As a writer, I knew I wasn’t that kind of woman, but I couldn’t help feeling like I needed to be. This desire to be “that kind of girl” is rooted in societal pressure to conform to an ideal. We’re conditioned to believe that there’s a certain type of woman to be, and that we’re somehow less-than if we don’t fit the mold.
The Cycle of Self-Improvement
I’ve spent thousands of dollars trying to become a smaller, skinnier version of myself. I’ve bought clothes that didn’t fit, thinking they’d motivate me to change. I’ve tried to be trendy, buying “It” items that never seemed to work for me. I’ve even attempted to adopt a uniform, only to realize that fashion is about making personal choices. But no matter how much I’ve spent, I’ve never achieved the transformation I thought I wanted.
The Myth of the “It” Girl
The truth is, there’s no one store where you can buy a new life. There’s no single item that will transform you into an “It” girl or a cool girl. You’ll still be the same person, only with a new accessory. Having an “It” bag doesn’t make you kinder, wiser, or funnier. It just means you’ve bought a bag with a certain label.
Embracing Authenticity
More and more, I’ve come to realize that the woman they’re trying to sell me never existed. She’s a myth, a distraction from the real work of self-improvement. If something speaks to you genuinely, it was meant to be. But if you have to be convinced, there’s likely a reason for that. It’s time to focus on who you are and who you will wake up tomorrow to be. The rest is just noise.
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