She Strengthens

The Hidden Truth About Elite Colleges

Behind the Scenes of an Ivy League Education

When people hear that I attended an Ivy League college, they often assume that my family is wealthy. And while that may be true for many students, it wasn’t the case for me. My parents, living in India, couldn’t afford the hefty $60,000 price tag. I was fortunate to receive a generous financial aid package, which, combined with scholarships and my parents’ assistance, covered tuition. However, I took on the responsibility of covering my living expenses, which led me to work in campus dining halls throughout my four years of college.

Lessons Learned from Working in Dining Services

My experience working in dining services taught me valuable lessons that I still carry with me today.

Respect is a Luxury

As a cashier, I was often treated as if I were inferior by the very students I served. They would rarely make eye contact or acknowledge my presence, let alone say “hello” or “thank you.” It was a humbling experience that made me realize that respect is a luxury not everyone is willing to give.

The Wealthy and the Dishonest

As a cashier, it was my job to detect and prevent theft. Surprisingly, the students who stole were often the wealthy ones, not my fellow scholarship students. They would stash food in their backpacks or hide it in their hoodies, knowing they could easily afford what they took. It was a stark reminder that privilege doesn’t always translate to integrity.

Staying Calm in the Face of Rudeness

Dealing with difficult customers was a daily challenge. Some would yell or snipe at me for the smallest reasons, like being out of their favorite snack or having too much mayo on their sandwich. I learned to nod, smile, and move on, rather than taking their behavior personally. This skill has served me well in dealing with poor-mannered supervisors and colleagues.

The Smile Expectation

As a female worker, I was often told to smile by male customers, professors, and even alumni. It was a constant reminder of the sexist expectations placed on women in service roles. I never heard my male coworkers being asked to do the same.

The Uneven Playing Field

Working 12-20 hours a week meant I had less time to focus on my studies, internships, and social life. It impacted my grades, resume, and opportunities, creating a gap that widened over time. Elite institutions need to recognize that students from different backgrounds face different burdens and adjust their support systems accordingly.

The Physical and Mental Toll of Service Jobs

My experience in service jobs was physically exhausting and mentally draining. I had to be on my feet for hours, maintain a smile, and deal with difficult customers. It was a constant strain that took a toll on my well-being.

The Lack of Respect for Service Workers

Despite the challenges of service jobs, they are often stigmatized as inferior. My career counselor advised me not to include my dining service experience on my resume, as it might make me appear “less professional.” It’s a shame that we don’t give service workers the respect they deserve.