She Strengthens

Planning a Wedding on Our Own Terms

As I prepare to tie the knot, I’ve come to realize that the traditional wedding industry isn’t exactly my cup of tea. Don’t get me wrong – I love celebrating with loved ones and dancing the night away with my fiancé, Marc. But the thought of a big, elaborate wedding has never been my dream.

The Logistics of Love

Marc and I have decided to have two weddings due to his visa requirements. We’ll have a small civil ceremony in New York City in February, followed by a ceremonial wedding in France later in the year. The civil ceremony will be an intimate affair, with just 17 guests, including our immediate families and a few close friends. We’re keeping costs low by hosting a simple dinner at a local restaurant and encouraging guests to dress comfortably.

Prioritizing What Matters

For the ceremonial wedding, we’re renting a beautiful villa in France, where we’ll spend a week with our 26 guests. We’re covering the cost of lodging and most meals, as our top priority is to make sure our guests don’t feel burdened by the expense of traveling. We’re keeping things simple by bringing our own wine, cooking some meals ourselves, and skipping traditional wedding elements like gifts and a wedding party.

Budgeting for Love

Our goal is to keep the total cost of both weddings under $25,000, which we know is a lot for some people and not so much for others. We’re compromising on many things, but staying focused on what really matters to us: spending quality time with our loved ones. By being intentional about our priorities, we’re able to budget in a way that feels clear and sustainable.

Lessons Learned

Planning a wedding can be overwhelming, especially when you’re trying to balance different priorities and budgets. But we’ve learned that being empathetic and understanding of our guests’ needs has been a guiding light in this process. We’re also learning that love is not just a feeling, but a demonstration of care and sustained effort that makes someone feel seen, understood, and appreciated.

The Real Celebration

At the end of the day, what matters most to us is the time we get to spend with our loved ones. The rest is just icing on the cake. I may not be a “wedding person,” but I’ve come to appreciate the beauty of treating love with the same degree of planning and attention that you would give to any other big project in your life.