She Strengthens

Embracing Feedback: The Key to Personal and Professional Growth

Breaking Free from Anxiety and Stress

Looking back, it’s astonishing how much anxiety and stress I used to carry. One major game-changer in my life has been learning to receive feedback – not just the feedback itself, but how I process it. Formerly, I had a tendency to fixate on the negative aspects, dissecting every detail, and reliving the experience repeatedly. Even if 90% of the feedback was positive, I’d obsess over the remaining 10%.

A Life-Changing Book

When I started working in tech recruiting in Los Angeles, I reached out to a senior executive at Riot Games, who recommended reading “Thanks for the Feedback.” This book helped me understand that I wasn’t alone in my hyper-critical approach to feedback. It taught me to appreciate and weigh positive feedback, bringing immense relief to my mental health.

Growth Through Objective Feedback

We’re not perfect, and even the most accomplished individuals have room for improvement. To advance and adapt, we need objective information on areas that require enhancement. By recognizing that I’m just one temporary version of myself, I’m motivated to use feedback to become a better version of me.

The Three Faces of Feedback

Stone and Heen, authors of “Thanks for the Feedback,” categorize feedback into three types:

• Appreciation: feedback that builds relationships and acknowledges our value
• Coaching: feedback that provides opportunities for improvement
• Evaluation: feedback that assesses our performance in a specific area

Active Listening and Categorization

To make the most of feedback, it’s essential to actively listen and categorize it into these three buckets. This enables us to consider each type of feedback as intended.

Everyone Listens Differently

The person giving feedback doesn’t inherently understand the person receiving it. Recognizing this helps us to ask targeted questions and seek the type of feedback we need.

Filtered Feedback

Feedback is already filtered through the giver’s observations and interpretations. We must look beyond potential biases and embellishments to extract valuable insights.

Blind Spots and Mirrors

We all have blind spots, and our perception of ourselves differs from others’. Feedback helps us gather information on what we’re not seeing. We can think of feedback as two mirrors: the “supportive mirror” that shows us at our best, and the “honest mirror” that reveals our current state.

Consider This Before Giving or Receiving Feedback

Before engaging in feedback, consider three questions:

• What’s my purpose in giving or receiving this feedback?
• Is it the right purpose from my point of view?
• Is it the right purpose from the other person’s point of view?

Embracing Regular Feedback

The best thing you can do is make feedback a regular part of your life. Ask for it early and often, and be open to understanding different perspectives. By doing so, you’ll improve your skills, build stronger relationships, and enjoy a more fulfilling journey to personal and professional growth.