She Strengthens

Breaking Free: My Journey of Self-Discovery Through Travel

In August 2016, I made the bold decision to sell everything I owned in my one-bedroom apartment in Wisconsin and embark on a backpacking adventure around the world. By November, I had said goodbye to my apartment and hello to a month of living out of my car, visiting friends in the Northeast U.S. Next, I ventured to Europe for a month and then Southeast Asia for six months. This whirlwind journey was both exhilarating and turbulent, filled with moments of pure joy and crippling anxiety.

The Allure of Escape

Like many in my generation, I had fallen under the spell of travel blogs and social media, promising a life of eternal happiness and fulfillment if only I dropped everything to explore the world. I convinced myself that traveling would be the antidote to my depression and anxiety, that it would help me “find myself” and leave my problems behind. With $10,000 in savings, I set off on my adventure, determined to process the trauma of losing a friend to suicide and dealing with another friend’s struggles.

The Harsh Reality

But instead of confronting my demons, I found myself distracting myself with new cities, people, and experiences. Whenever negative emotions crept in, I would flee to a new destination, convincing myself that I was making progress. The truth was, I was merely pushing my problems beneath the surface. Despite the excitement of traveling, my depression lingered, and there were days when I couldn’t muster the energy to get out of bed.

Coming Home to Reality

After 10 months of traveling, I returned to my hometown in Texas, depleted of funds and forced to confront the reality I had tried to escape. I moved back in with my parents, eventually finding a job as a receptionist in Austin. But the excitement of exploring a new city wore off, and my depression began to resurface. A series of setbacks, including getting fired from a job, sent me spiraling into darkness.

Seeking Help

It wasn’t until February 2018 that I realized I needed professional help. I began seeing a psychiatrist and therapist, and slowly, I started to rebuild. Today, I’m proud to say that I’m in a better place, although there are still days when the weight of my mental health feels crushing.

Lessons Learned

My journey taught me that traveling, as wonderful as it is, is not a panacea for my mental health. It’s a temporary escape, a Band-Aid on a deeper wound. The real work begins when I confront my problems head-on, seeking help and support from professionals. I’ve come to realize that true healing requires dedication, hard work, and a willingness to face my demons.

A New Perspective

I don’t regret my decision to travel, despite the costs – financial and emotional. I gained confidence, independence, and a deeper understanding of myself. But I also learned that true freedom comes from within, not from fleeing to exotic destinations. I’m grateful for the privileges that allowed me to take this journey, and I hope that my story can serve as a reminder that true healing requires more than just a change of scenery.