She Strengthens

Breaking Free from Family Financial Baggage

Growing up, my mother’s love for shopping was a constant presence in my life. Every day, she’d return from work with bags full of goodies, and I’d assume she had the money to afford them. I didn’t realize that credit cards and debt were a part of the equation. To me, it seemed like we were better off than most families.

A Childhood of Contrasts

My mother and I bonded over shopping trips, creating happy memories that I cherish to this day. However, behind closed doors, our household was filled with tension and arguments between my parents. Money was a constant source of stress, with my father frustrated about my mother’s spending habits and growing debt.

The Turning Point

Things came to a head when my father discovered that my mother had drained my education savings to fund her shopping addiction. This led to a drastic change in our household, with my siblings and I opening private bank accounts to protect our own finances.

Learning to Trust Myself

As I grew older, I developed a love-hate relationship with shopping. I enjoyed treating myself, but feared my father’s disapproval and the guilt that came with overspending. I’d hide my purchases and make up stories to avoid confrontation.

The Cycle of Self-Doubt

Recently, I found myself stuck in a similar pattern of guilt and self-criticism after reviewing my budget. I felt overwhelmed by the urge to punish myself for minor indulgences, like an $8 poutine or a few iced coffees. It was as if my financial transactions defined my self-worth.

Breaking the Mold

In reflecting on my experiences, I’ve come to realize that both my parents played a role in shaping my financial psyche. My mother’s spending habits and my father’s strictness have contributed to my inner conflict. However, I’ve also learned that I have the power to break free from this cycle.

Finding Peace and Balance

By opening up to friends, reading about personal finance, and writing about my experiences, I’ve begun to find peace with my financial decisions. I’ve come to understand that small indulgences won’t define my financial future. It’s about finding balance and recognizing that I am my own person, capable of making informed choices that align with my values and goals.

Moving Forward

As I continue on this journey, I remind myself that it’s okay to treat myself occasionally and that these small pleasures won’t derail my long-term financial plans. By embracing this mindset, I’m taking control of my financial well-being and building a brighter future for myself.