She Strengthens

Breaking Free from the Cycle of Shame and Binge Eating

A Dark Chapter in My Life

My junior year of college was a tumultuous time, marked by crippling self-doubt and an overwhelming course load. I sank into a deep depression, feeling like I didn’t belong at NYU, surrounded by privileged and accomplished students. Every morning was a struggle to get out of bed, and I convinced myself that I was only admitted due to pity, not merit.

The Negative Self-Talk Spiral

This toxic mindset led to harmful habits: insomnia, lashing out at friends, and binge eating. Food became my comfort, my escape from the emotional pain. I was too afraid and ashamed to seek help, so I turned to food to cope. At first, it started with occasional late-night cake orders, but soon escalated to devouring massive meals alone in my room.

The Illusion of Comfort

When I was surrounded by food, my worries vanished. But this fleeting comfort came at a steep price: digestive issues, weight gain, and intensified anxiety. I was trapped in a vicious cycle, using food to mask my emotional pain, but ultimately making things worse.

The Shame of Binge Eating

Licensed psychotherapist Rebecca Capps explains that people often hesitate to seek help for binge eating due to fear of judgment and shame. They believe they should have more control over their diet, leading to a cycle of guilt and self-blame.

Hitting Rock Bottom

My credit card debt skyrocketed to $4,500, a wake-up call that forced me to confront my destructive habits. I realized I couldn’t continue down this path of self-destruction, fueled by low self-esteem and emotional pain.

Facing the Past

Looking back, I’m still astonished by how far I let myself fall. But it’s time to own up to my mistakes and address the underlying factors that led to my binge eating disorder. I’m finally acknowledging my unhealthy relationship with food and taking steps to improve my mental and physical health – and my finances.

Seeking Help and Healing

I’ve started attending Overeaters Anonymous meetings, where I can share my struggles in a supportive environment. I’m also working to pay off my credit card debt and practicing open honesty with friends and family about my struggles. It’s a journey, but I deserve to feel happy and healthy, and I’m determined to get there.