She Strengthens

Breaking Free from Expectations

Growing up, I thought I had my life mapped out. As a Mormon girl, I was taught to follow a specific path: attend Brigham Young University, marry a returned missionary, and raise faithful children. Every decision I made was geared towards achieving these milestones, from learning homemaking skills to choosing a job that would allow me to take time off to raise a family.

The Weight of Tithing

But there was another aspect of my faith that had a significant impact on my finances: tithing. As a Mormon, I was expected to give 10% of my gross income to the church, starting from childhood birthday gifts to my full-time salary and even unemployment checks. I faithfully handed over my tithe, believing that Heavenly Father would provide for me if I was faithful. Sunday School lessons emphasized the importance of paying tithing first, even if it meant sacrificing other essential expenses.

A Crisis of Faith

However, my mid-twenties brought a crisis of faith, and I began to question the future I had been taught to expect. As I struggled to reconcile my beliefs with reality, I realized that my financial life was deeply entwined with my faith. When I eventually left the Mormon church, my finances underwent a massive transformation.

A New Era of Financial Freedom

One of the most significant benefits of leaving the church was the sudden influx of “extra” dollars in my budget. Without tithing and offerings, I could finally prioritize my own financial goals. I started saving aggressively, making real progress towards international vacations, a down payment on a home, and even living on my own.

Rethinking My Future

Around the same time, I discovered that I was aromantic and asexual, which forced me to reevaluate my entire future. I had always assumed I would find a romantic partner to share financial responsibilities with, but now I knew I had to rely solely on myself. This realization sparked a sense of urgency to secure my financial future.

Taking Control

I began by significantly increasing my retirement savings, aiming to save 20% of my gross salary. I also doubled the size of my emergency fund. Creating a simple, automatic savings plan helped alleviate my nerves about investing. With Wealthsimple, an online investing service, I can build a custom portfolio tailored to my goals. Their high-interest savings accounts and automatic deposits make it easy to stick to my plan.

Embracing My New Life

My journey has not been easy, but it has been liberating. I’ve rebuilt my life and expectations from the ground up, and I’m finally in control of my finances and my future. I’ve discovered a new sense of freedom and empowerment, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.