She Strengthens

Breaking Free from the Darkness: My Journey with Depression and Anxiety

As I navigated the chaos of rush hour, a familiar foe loomed before me – a bridge that had become a constant reminder of my darkest thoughts. “What if I drove off this bridge?” I’d ask myself, playing out scenarios that grew increasingly sinister with each passing day. It was a morbid game, one that I thought was harmless, but ultimately revealed the depth of my despair.

The Weight of Anxiety

My mental health journey has taught me that I’m not just a worrier, but a catastrophizer. I worry about things that aren’t even possible, and it’s exhausting. Two years ago, I didn’t understand anxiety; I thought it was just another emotion to be controlled. But it’s more than that – it’s a constant, suffocating presence that can lead to depression.

Seeking Help

After months of worsening symptoms, a friend confronted me about my suicidal thoughts. It was a wake-up call, and I knew I needed help. But where to turn? I was too embarrassed to talk to friends or family, so I turned to therapy. The cost was steep – $200 per session – but I knew it was necessary.

The Pros of Therapy

My therapist introduced me to eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), a type of psychotherapy that helped me confront my past traumas. It was tough, but within four sessions, I was able to think about those memories without feeling anxious. Therapy offered me a new perspective, unbiased conversations, and tools to manage my mental health. It also taught me how to communicate my needs to loved ones and express my feelings without feeling like a burden.

The Cons of Therapy

But therapy isn’t without its drawbacks. The cost can be prohibitive, and feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable is a natural part of the process. Perhaps the biggest con is the risk of forming a strong bond with your therapist, only to have them leave. That’s what happened to me, and it was devastating.

Is Therapy Worth It?

For me, therapy was a lifesaver. It gave me the tools to manage my anxiety and depression, and it taught me to value my life and mind above all else. Yes, it was expensive – $800 covered by insurance and $1,200 out of pocket – but it was worth every penny. The financial accessibility of mental healthcare can be a challenge, but there are options available, from affordable therapy sessions to online platforms like BetterHelp and TalkSpace.

Reaching Out

If you’re struggling with mental health issues, know that you’re not alone. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member, or seek professional help. There are resources available, from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) to the SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline (1-877-726-4727). Don’t be afraid to take the first step – your life is worth it.