She Strengthens

My Journey Through Darkness and Back Again

A Year of Turmoil

Just 12 months ago, my life was unrecognizable. Fresh out of graduate school with a Master’s in Industrial-Organizational Psychology, I was thriving as a consultant at a trendy boutique firm surrounded by fellow millennials. We worked long hours, partied hard on weekends, and I even ran a successful knitting business, Kelsea Knits, on the side. From the outside, it seemed like the perfect life – busy, yet fulfilling.

The Unraveling

But beneath the surface, my world was about to come crashing down. I ended a long-term relationship, moved out on my own, and my sister relocated to Australia. To make matters worse, the consulting firm I loved was going bankrupt, leaving a toxic work environment in its wake. Friends were being laid off or forced out, and I was left reeling. The cumulative effect of these events sent me spiraling into a Major Depressive Episode.

Seeking Help

I sought medical advice and was eventually put on short-term disability due to burnout, depression, and daily panic attacks. It was a humbling experience, but one that taught me valuable lessons about prioritizing my mental health.

Lesson 1: Employer Benefits are Meant to be Used

As someone who’s been fortunate enough to have disability benefits, I learned that they’re not just a safety net – they’re an essential part of my compensation package. It’s okay to take time off to address my mental health, and I’m working with my therapist to overcome any guilt associated with doing so.

Lesson 2: The Paperwork Battle

Taking short-term disability wasn’t as seamless as I thought it’d be. The paperwork was overwhelming, and demonstrating a mental illness was far more complicated than a physical one. I spent hours on the phone with my insurance company, navigating the complexities of the process. It took months to receive my first payment, which added to my stress levels.

Lesson 3: Emergency Savings are Key

Luckily, I had some savings set aside for emergencies, which helped bridge the gap between my last paycheck and my insurance payment. However, I didn’t account for the additional expenses associated with being sick – doctors’ notes, therapist visits, pharmacy costs, and more. Having a financial cushion made all the difference.

Lesson 4: Good Days and People Should be Welcomed

When dealing with mental health issues, good days are precious. I learned to cherish them and make the most of my energy. Whether it’s cooking large portions, asking friends for support, or simply getting out of bed, every small victory counts. Gratitude practices, like writing thank-you notes, also helped shift my focus to the positive.

Lesson 5: Personal Care Takes Work

Personal care isn’t just about self-indulgence; it’s about taking control of my health. This means attending medical appointments, following doctors’ orders, and keeping track of my progress. It’s not easy, but it’s essential to my well-being. By prioritizing my mental health, I’m slowly finding my way back to the surface.