She Strengthens

The Hidden Cost of Toxic Relationships

When we think of toxic relationships, we often focus on the emotional and physical toll they take on us. But what about the financial burden? After ending a toxic relationship, I took a closer look at the staggering amount of money I spent during those 12 months – and the lessons I learned from my mistakes.

A Secret Relationship

My ex-boyfriend and I were both in college, and our relationship was unconventional, to say the least. We had to keep it a secret from our friends and family, which meant we couldn’t hang out at each other’s homes or in public places. This secrecy came at a cost – literally.

The Weekly Drain

Every week, we would spend an average of $30 eating out, since we couldn’t hang out at home. This added up to a whopping $1,560 over the course of the year. As the higher earner, I felt guilty about our financial situation and ended up paying for most of these “hangouts.”

Unnecessary Getaways

During our time together, I wanted to take a break from school and work, so we planned two getaways to touristy spots in our state. I wasn’t aware of more affordable options like Airbnb, so I booked hotel rooms and paid for everything – a total of $400. Looking back, I realize that I didn’t have to bear the cost alone.

Missed Days of Work

The drama and fights in our relationship took a toll on my mental and physical health, causing me to miss days of work. As a result, I lost approximately $2,304 in income. It’s a harsh reality that many people in toxic relationships face – sacrificing their well-being and finances for someone who doesn’t appreciate them.

Miscellaneous Expenses

Living in a city with limited public transportation meant that I had to rely on my car to get around. This added up to approximately $500 in expenses, including gas, maintenance, and other costs.

The Total Cost

Adding up the estimated amounts, I spent a staggering $4,700 during that toxic relationship. While I’m not blaming my ex for not contributing financially, I realize now that this money could have changed my life. Instead, it was wasted on a relationship that drained me emotionally, physically, and financially.

A Hard-Learned Lesson

Since ending that relationship, I’ve come to understand the importance of considering the financial aspects of a partnership. It’s not just about love and emotions; it’s about being responsible and aware of the costs involved. By prioritizing my financial well-being, I’ve taken back control of my life and learned to make more informed decisions about my relationships.