She Strengthens

Unpacking the Complexities of Mental Health and Finances

As I reflect on my journey with mental health, I’ve come to realize that it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking in black-and-white extremes. For a long time, I blamed others and the world around me for my problems. Later, I shifted the blame to myself. But neither approach brought me any closer to finding solutions or feeling empowered to make a change.

The Gray Area of Control

With time and maturity, I’ve learned to distinguish between the things that happen to me and those that I have control over. This nuanced understanding has helped me navigate the complexities of mental health and finances.

Beyond My Control

There have been several instances in the past year where I had limited control over events that affected my mental health and finances. For example:

• Toxic Work Environment: I was stuck in a job with a culture that was detrimental to my well-being. While some might say I had control over leaving, the reality is that finding a new job isn’t always easy or immediate.
• Family Decisions: My parents built a utility room in our home, which was an extravagance they couldn’t afford. This decision disrupted our living space and led to unexpected costs.
• Loss and Grief: The sudden loss of my cat and dog within weeks of each other took a toll on my mental health and finances (£600 in vet bills).
• Unpredictable Pet Behavior: I adopted a new dog, which turned out to be highly sensitive and destructive. Despite my best efforts, she continues to be a challenge.
• Environmental Changes: The rapid development in my once-quiet village has created mental pressure and anxiety.

Within My Control

On the other hand, there have been instances where I had control over my choices and actions:

• New Job: I took a new job without fully considering the implications, which has led to its own set of challenges.
• New Dog: I adopted a new dog without giving myself time to grieve and process the loss of my previous pet.
• Organizational Systems: I got caught up in trying out numerous organizational systems, which ultimately led to overwhelm and inefficiency.
• Private Health Consultation: I paid for a private consultation for a minor health issue, which was costly and didn’t provide any new insights.

Lessons Learned

Through these experiences, I’ve come to understand that life is full of complexities and uncertainties. While it’s essential to acknowledge the things beyond our control, it’s equally important to recognize the areas where we do have agency. By doing so, we can take ownership of our choices, learn from our mistakes, and cultivate a sense of empowerment in the face of uncertainty.