She Strengthens

Navigating the Financial Realities of a Partner’s Transition

As we celebrate our two-year wedding anniversary, my partner and I reflect on the unexpected journey we’ve embarked upon. What began as a typical millennial couple’s quest for financial stability took an extraordinary turn when my partner revealed her struggles with gender dysphoria. Her courageous decision to explore her gender identity led to a life-changing transition, and our relationship has grown stronger as a result.

Embracing the Unexpected

We initially shared conventional goals: buying a home, paying off debt, and starting a family. However, my partner’s transition brought new challenges and expenses. As a privileged couple, we’ve been fortunate to have the means to support her journey, but we’re acutely aware that not everyone shares our socioeconomic advantages.

The Cost of Transition

Over the past two years, we’ve incurred significant expenses related to my partner’s transition. Here’s a breakdown of the quantifiable costs:

• Counseling Services: $2,932 (therapy sessions for both of us to cope with the transition’s emotional impact)
• Fertility/Reproductive Expenses: $180 (fertility testing, sperm freezing, and ongoing storage)
• Medical Visits and Testing: $158 (regular check-ups and hormone level monitoring)
• Hormone Replacement Therapy: $260 (estrogen supplements and testosterone blockers)
• Voice Therapy: $490 (trans-focused vocal coaching to feminize her voice)
• Legal Representation: $1,000 (retainer for legal assistance with name and gender changes)
• Legal Document Changes: $165 (updating documents that don’t require a court order)
• Laser Hair Removal: Approximately $3,000 (sessions for facial hair removal)
• Initial Cost to Begin a Makeup Routine and Curate a Women’s Wardrobe: $1,850 (makeup lesson, startup purchases, and clothing for a professional women’s wardrobe)

Total Cost (in the last two years): +/- $10,035

While these expenses have impacted our financial goals, every penny has been worth it for my partner’s emotional wellbeing and our relationship’s growth.

A Call to Action

We acknowledge that our socioeconomic status has greatly facilitated my partner’s transition. Not every trans person or queer couple has the same level of privilege. It’s essential that we recognize the legitimacy of trans individuals with limited incomes. If you’re trans and concerned about accessing resources, there are organizations like the National Center for Trans Equality that can provide support. If you’re privileged, consider donating to causes that champion trans rights to ease the burden for those who can’t afford the costs we’ve incurred.

In the end, every individual deserves to be seen and respected, regardless of their financial situation or ability to access resources.