She Strengthens

The Hidden Dangers of Domestic Violence and Economic Abuse

October, a month of awareness, brings to the forefront various social and health issues, including domestic violence awareness. While it’s essential to acknowledge these issues, it’s equally important to give each topic the recognition it deserves, rather than grouping them together.

A Personal Connection

Domestic violence awareness became a crucial issue for me personally over the past five years. My beloved aunt, Magalie, was lost to domestic violence. Her infectious laugh and sparkling smile still linger in my memory. It’s hard to fathom how someone so full of life could be taken away from us.

The Unseen Signs

The signs of domestic violence were always there, but I didn’t recognize them or perhaps didn’t want to. The stigma surrounding relational abuse makes it difficult to identify and act on it. I never imagined this issue would concern my family. Magalie and her husband seemed like the perfect couple, but beneath the surface, a different story unfolded.

Beyond Physical Abuse

When we think of domestic violence, we often imagine the extremes of physical abuse. However, there are other forms of intimate partner abuse, including coercion, emotional abuse, and economic abuse. Economic abuse, in particular, can be devastating, leaving the victim in a position of financial vulnerability.

The Devastating Consequences

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 94-99% of domestic violence survivors also experience economic abuse. Money plays a significant role in relationships, and its impact can be overwhelming. For Magalie, her bout with economic abuse involved a spouse who tried to keep her from working. He wanted to fulfill the traditional “male” household role of “the breadwinner.” This led to more abuse and ultimately, her tragic death.

What We Get Wrong

The tricky thing about domestic violence is that it’s gradual. It’s easy to assume that victims should just leave, but it’s not that simple. Abusers are often charming and likable individuals, making it difficult for victims to recognize the signs of abuse. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has published in detail about the abuser’s “good” behavior being part of their act.

Early Warning Signs

There are early warning signs for economic abuse. If you notice these within your or a loved one’s relationship, don’t hesitate to take action. Early signs include one partner controlling all of the money, dictating how it’s spent, and tracking every receipt. With such a power structure, it’s essential to recognize the dangers of economic abuse.

Assisting Victims

There are three steps to leaving an abusive relationship: creating a safety plan, leaving the relationship, and gathering evidence to take legal action. It’s vital to understand abusers’ tactics to combat them safely. Victims must leave the relationship swiftly and find shelter inaccessible to the abuser.

Honoring Maggie’s Memory

I wish Maggie was here today, celebrating holidays with us and infecting the room with her laughter. All the wishes in the world won’t bring her back, though. We have her memories, children, and story to remember her. We can honor Maggie by calling domestic abuse by its name and helping decrease the percentage of cases.

Breaking the Silence

As we conclude Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I implore you to educate yourself on the issue. Learn the subtle ways abuse factors into relationships and the relationships of others. Early intervention increases the chances of survival. Advocating for victims and changing policies can help decrease domestic violence cases.

Seeking Help

If you are experiencing financial or any kind of abuse, there is help out there for you. You are not alone, and you are not to blame. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. Reach out to organizations like Purple Purse and the National Network to End Domestic Violence for information and support.