She Strengthens

The Hidden Cost of Panic Attacks

For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with panic attacks. My first one occurred when I was just seven years old, triggered by a simple forgotten homework assignment. Since then, these intense bouts of mental anxiety have become a recurring theme in my life.

Fear and Anxiety: The Root of My Panic Attacks

Most of my panic attacks center around fear – the fear of making mistakes, the fear of not being good enough, and the fear of being judged. These fears can quickly spiral out of control, leading to physical reactions like hyperventilation, profuse sweating, and even hypothermia.

The Financial Toll of Panic Attacks

While therapy has helped me manage my panic attacks, they still take a significant toll on my life – and my wallet. In an effort to cope with my anxiety, I often turn to impulsive spending, trying to distract myself from my fears. But this coping mechanism comes at a cost.

A Friday Night of Impulsive Spending

One summer evening, I found myself in the midst of a panic attack. Feeling embarrassed about a mistake at work, I began to spiral into self-doubt. I tried to distract myself by browsing job sites, but that only led to more anxiety. Before I knew it, I had spent $30 on a wrap and a yoga class I didn’t even attend. The night only got more expensive from there, with a trip to a cannabis store and a Starbucks run. By the time my husband picked me up, I had spent over $80 trying to calm my nerves.

The Pressure to Please Others

Another panic attack occurred on Thanksgiving, when I felt overwhelmed by the prospect of seeing my family. In an effort to impress them, I spent $75 on a new outfit, only to realize that my hair still looked terrible. This impulsive decision was driven by my fear of being judged and rejected by my loved ones.

Last-Minute Shopping for an Award Show

When I put off shopping for a dress for an award show at work, I found myself in a state of panic. With only one day to spare, I rushed to the mall, feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I tried on several dresses, but my self-doubt got the best of me. I ended up spending $113 on a dress that didn’t even fit well.

Breaking the Cycle of Impulsive Spending

While my panic attacks can be expensive, the real problem lies in the constant self-berating that drives my impulsive spending. I’m working on breaking this cycle by seeking support from loved ones and focusing on self-care. By acknowledging my fears and anxieties, I hope to find healthier ways to cope with my panic attacks – and save my wallet in the process.