She Strengthens

Breaking Free from the Past: My Journey of Self-Discovery

The Illusion of a Fresh Start

After graduating from college in 2015, I was eager to embark on my adult life. I envisioned a world where I would earn a decent salary, pursue my passion for writing, and live independently in a beautiful apartment. However, reality had other plans. With a meager starting salary of $36,000 and a grueling work schedule, I found myself struggling to cope with the stress and anxiety that had plagued me since childhood.

Hitting Rock Bottom

By the end of 2017, I reached a breaking point. I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation, a wake-up call that forced me to confront my demons. It was then that I realized I needed help and began attending therapy sessions. I moved back home to live with my parents, who provided me with the support I desperately needed. I eventually landed my dream job, but the scars of my past continued to haunt me.

A New Chapter in Denver

In 2018, a friend offered me a room in her Denver apartment, and I saw it as an opportunity to start anew. With a remote job and some savings, I took the leap, hoping to leave my Midwestern hometown behind. The initial months were exhilarating, and I felt a sense of freedom. However, I soon discovered that my problems had followed me 1,200 miles west.

The Harsh Reality

Denver proved to be a challenging environment, both financially and emotionally. The cost of living was exorbitant, and my salary of $46,000 barely covered my expenses. I struggled to form meaningful connections with people, partly due to my mental health issues. Despite making some wonderful friends, I felt isolated and homesick.

The Realization

It dawned on me that running away from a place wouldn’t solve my problems if they were rooted in my own skin. I realized that I needed to confront my issues head-on, rather than trying to escape them. With a heavy heart, I decided to move back home at the end of my lease.

Lessons Learned

Looking back, I’m grateful for the experience, despite its challenges. I grew as a person, formed meaningful connections, and learned valuable lessons. If you’re considering a big move, I urge you to think carefully about your motivations and whether you’re prepared to handle the emotional and financial burdens that come with it.

Coming Full Circle

Now that I’m back home, I’m facing the issues I initially tried to flee. However, I’m better equipped to tackle them, thanks to therapy, a supportive network, and a more realistic understanding of myself. Sometimes, I still feel like I’m crawling out of my skin, but I know that only I can solve my problems – and I will.