She Strengthens

Rethinking Success: How I Learned to Prioritize My Well-being Over My Career

As a high-achieving Black woman, I used to believe that success meant compartmentalizing every aspect of my life. I focused on achieving the perfect work-life balance, but in reality, I was only concentrating on my career. I neglected my self-care, and it took a toll on my physical and mental health.

The Cost of Code-Switching

I was one of only six Black employees in my department, and the only Black woman. The pressure to fit in and hide my stress was overwhelming. I felt like I had to work twice as hard to prove myself, and it was draining. According to the National Institute of Health, people of color have to push harder to get their personal needs met, and it’s no wonder I felt exhausted.

The Wake-Up Call

In my 20s, I suffered from frequent panic attacks, and my doctor discovered two cysts in my thyroid. It was a wake-up call. I realized that my Type-A lifestyle wasn’t working, and I needed to prioritize my health and finances. I sought the help of a Black therapist, who explained that my experiences were universal. As a Black woman, I often felt like I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Redefining Financial Wellness

I used to think that financial wellness meant paying down debt, saving, and investing. But that’s not enough. I came up with my own definition: Financial wellness is the act of learning about how your personality, environment, and experiences affect your money habits, leading to financial stability. It’s about understanding how our money influences every aspect of our lives.

The Eight Pillars of Financial Wellness

The US Department of Health and SAMHSA created a holistic definition of overall wellness, based on eight pillars: Physical, Nutritional, Emotional, Social, Spiritual, Intellectual, Occupational, and Financial. I realized that my financial wellness was connected to all these aspects of my life.

Taking Stock of My Spending

I started by taking stock of my spending in each of these categories. I asked myself how my spending contributed to my overall wellness. Was I using my money in a way that nourished and benefited my self-care? Here’s a brief overview of the eight financial wellness pillars and some recommended reading to get you started:

1. Physical: How do you take care of your physical health, and what does it cost?
2. Nutritional: What are you doing to nourish yourself, and how much does it cost?
3. Emotional: How do your emotions influence your money habits, and what are you doing to regulate them?
4. Social: How do your friends and family influence your spending, and what are you doing to prioritize your relationships?
5. Spiritual: How do you use money to invest in your spirituality, and how does it impact your views on money?
6. Intellectual: Are you taking the time to build your brainpower, and what does it cost?
7. Occupational: How does your job impact your financial goals, and what are you doing to prioritize your career growth?
8. Financial: How are you using money to support all these pillars and live your best life?

Creating a Budget That Works for You

There are many ways to create a budget, but whichever method you choose, think about your budget in terms of these eight pillars. Decide how much you’re willing to spend on each and how each pillar affects your relationship with money. By prioritizing my well-being over my career, I’ve learned that true success is about living a balanced and fulfilling life.