She Strengthens

The Elusive Pursuit of Happiness

I thought I had found the key to happiness when I finally moved into my dream home in Northeast Los Angeles. The trendy neighborhood, the hip boutiques, and the bustling restaurants all seemed to promise a life of excitement and fulfillment. But just three months in, I was already searching for a new place to live, a new neighborhood, and a new life.

Chasing the Illusion of Perfection

I’ve always been drawn to the idea of starting fresh, convinced that a new beginning would erase my problems and catapult me towards a better version of myself. I thought that if I just moved to a new apartment, got a new job, or started a new hobby, I would suddenly become more disciplined, more productive, and more happy. But time and time again, I found myself falling back into old habits and patterns, no matter how promising the new start seemed.

A Pattern of Disillusionment

I’ve tried to blame external circumstances for my dissatisfaction – the rent, the landlord, the location – but deep down, I know that’s not the real issue. The problem lies within me. My “grass is always greener” mentality has led me on a merry chase, always searching for the next big thing, the next exciting development, the next source of happiness. But in doing so, I’ve neglected to appreciate the good things I already have, the accomplishments I’ve achieved, and the privileges I enjoy.

A Shift in Perspective

When my husband and I both lost our jobs last spring, I was forced to re-evaluate my priorities and my standards for a “good” life. I realized that true happiness doesn’t come from starting over, but from working with what I have, appreciating what I’ve accomplished, and finding joy in the everyday moments. I’ve started to focus on improving my current situation, rather than constantly seeking a new and better one.

Making the Most of What You Have

For me, that means investing in my existing space, making my office more comfortable and functional, and cultivating a garden in my backyard. It means appreciating the small things, like a good book and a warm sunny day, rather than constantly striving for something more. Sometimes, “starting over” is just a matter of starting with what you have, and learning to love it.

A New Path Forward

I’m not saying it’s easy, and I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out. But I am saying that I’m trying, and that’s all any of us can do. I’m trying to appreciate what I have, to find joy in the everyday, and to make the most of my current situation. And if you’re like me, always chasing the elusive dream of happiness, maybe it’s time to try something new – to start with what you have, and see where it takes you.