She Strengthens

Breaking Free from the Cycle of Self-Hate

A Lifetime of Struggle

I still remember the first time I thought I was fat. I was just five years old, and my great-grandmother carelessly remarked that I was “plump.” That innocent comment sparked a lifelong struggle with weight loss, eating disorders, and body dysmorphia.

The Never-Ending Battle

As I grew older, I became acutely aware of my body’s shape and size. I would cover myself with baggy clothes, ashamed of my reflection. At 15, I decided to take drastic measures to change my appearance. Without guidance or support, I turned to unhealthy habits, including binging, purging, and restricting. This vicious cycle continued for years, with my self-worth tied to the number on the scale.

The Illusion of Control

At my wedding, I finally achieved the “perfect” body, but it was a hollow victory. I realized that my motivation was never to feel healthy or strong, but to conform to societal beauty standards. I wanted to control my body because it made me feel in control of my life.

The Pandemic Epiphany

When the pandemic hit, I found myself back on the scale, ashamed and anxious. But something inside me snapped. I was exhausted from hating myself, and I realized that the pursuit of thinness was not worth the emotional toll. I began to question the societal norms that had warped my perspective on beauty and worthiness.

Embracing Self-Acceptance

I started making small changes, like incorporating more fruits and vegetables into my diet and taking daily walks. I stopped following accounts that made me feel bad about myself and started following people who promoted body positivity. I learned to appreciate my curves and focus on feeling good, rather than striving for a specific size or shape.

The Power of Plus-Size Shopping

One day, I stumbled upon a plus-size shopping page, and it changed everything. I saw women flaunting their curves, feeling confident and sexy. I realized that I didn’t have to settle for clothes that didn’t fit; I could find pieces that made me feel beautiful and comfortable. I started buying clothes that celebrated my body, rather than trying to hide it.

Loving Myself, Finally

For the first time, I felt worthy of love and attention, regardless of my size. I learned to appreciate my body’s unique shape and focus on feeling good, rather than striving for perfection. I’m still worthy of feeling hot, and for the first time, my brain is actually believing it.

Breaking Free

I’m not alone in this struggle. We’ve been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to our weight, but it’s time to break free from that toxic cycle. It’s time to focus on self-acceptance, self-love, and self-care. I’m done hating myself, and I’m finally learning to love myself, flaws and all.