She Strengthens

Breaking Free from Shame: My Experience with Sex Work

Embracing My Choice

I’ve always been fascinated by sex work, whether it’s in the form of porn or sugaring. To me, it’s just as valuable as any other type of work. So, when I found myself in a tough financial spot, I decided to take the leap and try it out. I met up with a guy, we hung out, and at the end of the night, I got paid. It wasn’t forced or coerced; I did it on my own terms.

A Different Kind of Date

In many ways, sugaring wasn’t much different from my usual habit of meeting up with people off dating apps – except this time, I was getting paid. The guy I met up with was actually nicer to me than many of my past Tinder dates. It wasn’t some dark, scary thing; it was just a way for me to make some extra money.

The Unexpected Consequences

But things took a turn when someone from my family found out about my job. I had posted a photo of myself spending some of my sugaring money on Instagram, and it eventually made its way to my extended family. They were shocked and decided to stage an intervention – without even inviting me.

The Intervention

My parents received a cryptic text message asking them to meet at the grave where my grandparents are buried. They were confused, but they went anyway. That’s when my family told them about my sex work and lectured my mom on what a bad parent she was for allowing me to end up like this. I was an adult, making my own choices, but somehow, it was deemed acceptable to shame my mom for it.

Standing Up for Myself

My parents stood up for me, even though they didn’t know if it was true or not. They said, “Even if this is true, why are we all sitting here having an intervention about it, without her?” Eventually, they had enough and left. The aftermath was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever been through.

The Power of Sex Work

Sex work is real work, and sex workers deserve to be respected. I did sex work because it was an accessible way for me to make money when I really needed it. I did sex work because I’m a woman, I like sex, and I wanted to get paid to do that thing. There is power in women owning their sexuality and monetizing off of it.

The Shame That Remains

Even though I believe sex work is valid, the shame that I still feel to this day is deeply traumatizing. After the intervention, I stopped doing sugaring altogether – not because I wanted to, but because I felt so deeply ashamed of what others thought about it. It’s time to change that stigma and recognize sex work as just another way to make money in a capitalist society.