She Strengthens

The Dark Side of Friendship: When Business and Personal Relationships Collide

As a dance instructor with 14 years of experience, I never thought that my passion would become a source of stress and heartache. But that’s exactly what happened when I started working for my friend, Allie, at her dance studio.

A Friendship Born in Dance

I met Allie at a teacher training program in 2017. We bonded over our shared values and interests, and she confided in me about her dream of opening a dance studio. When I mentioned that a studio I had taught at had recently closed, leaving a vacant space, Allie saw it as fate. She signed the lease without hesitation, despite having no connections in the market and limited savings.

The Red Flags

In hindsight, I should have seen the warning signs. Allie didn’t spend a dime on advertising, assuming that students would flock to her studio. But the business grew slowly, and we ended up with only four students. Shortly before our first recital, Allie got into a dispute with our landlord over repairs, and we were locked out of the studio.

The Cost of Friendship

As the business struggled, Allie’s financial strain began to affect me. She laid off our receptionist, and I had to pay for my own transportation to and from the studio, which cost me almost an hour’s pay. My side hustle, which was supposed to bring me joy, left me physically exhausted.

Blurred Lines

Allie would often confide in me about the business, asking for my advice on marketing and other issues. But she rarely took my advice, and I began to feel like I was more than just a teacher – I was also a business consultant. The lines between our friendship and professional relationship became increasingly blurred.

Inappropriate Asks

As time went on, Allie started making inappropriate requests, asking me to do admin or design work without compensation. She would also ask me to take classes to stay current, even though they cost as much as I made in an hour. It was hard to separate her “friend asks” from her “boss asks.”

The Toll on My Life

The studio dominated my life. Allie would call me multiple times a week, talking for over 30 minutes each time. I couldn’t sleep on the long bus ride home, and I started to panic whenever she called. I was dealing with grief from two major deaths and stress at work, but I didn’t have time to seek counseling.

Social Pressures

Allie would invite me to parties and events, which I would attend to keep her happy. But I knew that my job depended on it. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, never knowing when I would cross a line.

The Final Straw

When COVID-19 hit, Allie closed the studio permanently. For me, it ended a nightmare – three years of stress and exhaustion. But I was also left feeling burned out and betrayed. Allie had used our friendship to justify taking advantage of me, and I realized that I needed to take a step back and prioritize my own well-being.

Lessons Learned

Looking back, I’ve learned some valuable lessons. Working with friends can be a recipe for disaster, especially when boundaries are blurred. It’s essential to set clear expectations and maintain a professional distance, even with those closest to you. I’m still recovering from the experience, but I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on what went wrong and how I can do better in the future.