She Strengthens

Embracing Authenticity: Letting Go of the Need to Impress

As I reflect on my past experiences, I’m reminded of the countless times I’ve tried to fit into a mold that wasn’t mine. I’ve attempted to be the “cool girl” – the one who’s always down for an adventure, effortlessly charming, and never says no to an invite. But behind the facade, I was exhausting myself trying to keep up the act.

The Facade of Cool

These “cool girls” I admired seemed to have an effortless ability to navigate any social setting. They were the life of the party, always up for a good time, and never appeared to be trying too hard. I, on the other hand, was stuck in a cycle of trying to impress others, often at the expense of my own happiness.

Five Expensive Lessons Learned

Over time, I’ve come to realize that trying to be someone I’m not is not only emotionally draining but also financially costly. Here are five experiences I’ve had to “be cool” that I’ve since removed from my life:

1. Concerts Without a Connection: I used to attend concerts solely because I didn’t want to miss out on the fun. But if I didn’t know the artist’s music, I found myself bored and disinterested. Now, I prioritize experiences that bring me genuine joy.

2. Fancy Bars and Pretentious Drinks: In college, I learned that saying you liked whiskey was a surefire way to impress guys. But I never truly enjoyed it. Now, I opt for drinks that make me happy, not ones that try to prove a point.

3. Arcade Bars: A Recipe for Boredom: I’ve tried to fit in by suggesting arcade bars, but they’re just not my scene. I’d rather spend my time doing things that bring me genuine excitement.

4. Q&As with People I Don’t Care About: I used to attend literary readings and Q&As with male writers and directors, hoping to meet interesting people. But I never did. Now, I prioritize events that align with my true interests.

5. Shooting Games: A Recipe for Disaster: I’ve tried paintball, laser tag, and other shooting games, thinking they’d be fun. But they’re not my cup of tea. I’ve learned to prioritize activities that bring me joy, not ones that try to fit me into a certain mold.

Breaking Free from the Need to Impress

It’s taken me time to realize that trying to be someone I’m not is not only expensive but also unhealthy. I’ve come to understand that doing things I don’t enjoy, solely to impress others, is a waste of my time and energy. Embracing my authenticity has been liberating, and I’m grateful to have let go of the need to be a “cool girl.”