She Strengthens

The Unseen Dangers of Being a Less-Than-Stellar Friend

When we think of toxic friends, we often imagine characters like Regina George from Mean Girls or Nancy Downs from The Craft. However, in reality, being a bad friend can manifest in subtle ways, often hidden beneath the surface.

The Blurred Lines of Friendship

I recently had an epiphany about my own friendships. I realized that I had become the toxic friend, not because of any grand, malicious actions, but because of my small, seemingly insignificant omissions. It started with excuses to avoid socializing, which eventually turned into ignoring calls and texts. I justified this behavior as self-care, prioritizing my alone time and emotional well-being.

The Consequences of Silence

However, I failed to communicate my needs to my friends, leaving them feeling abandoned and confused. They didn’t know what they had done wrong or if I was okay. In hindsight, I realize that my silence was not only hurtful but also damaging to our relationships. I was so focused on my own struggles that I neglected the people who cared about me.

The Many Faces of Depression and Anxiety

I thought I was fine, content even, but in reality, I was struggling with symptoms of depression and anxiety. I had become adept at hiding behind a mask of normalcy, but my behavior told a different story. I was withdrawing from social interactions, seeking solace in escapism, and neglecting my responsibilities as a friend.

Taking Responsibility

It wasn’t until my friends stopped reaching out that I realized the harm I had caused. I had given the impression that they were at fault, that they had done something wrong. But the truth is, I was the one who had been dishonest about my struggles. I had lied to myself and to others, and it was time to take responsibility for my actions.

Lessons Learned

If you find yourself questioning your own friendships, here are some signs that you might be the toxic friend:

• Interactions have changed: If you notice that good friends have stopped reaching out, it may be because of your behavior.
• You’ve cut everyone off: While alone time is essential, make sure you’re not leaving your loved ones in the dark.
• You’ve become smug about self-care: Be honest with yourself about your motivations. Is it truly self-care, or is it an excuse to avoid responsibility?

The Power of Communication

In the end, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being honest and taking responsibility for our actions. By acknowledging our flaws and communicating our needs, we can build stronger, more meaningful relationships. Remember, good friends will understand and support you, but they need to know what’s going on.