She Strengthens

Breaking Free from Diet Culture and Embracing Self-Acceptance

A Personal Journey of Self-Discovery

Eight years ago, I started taking antipsychotic medication, which led to significant weight gain. As my dosage increased and more medications were added, I gained almost 100 pounds. While these medications brought stability and improved functioning, they also brought a new set of challenges: living in a body that was vastly different from the one I once knew.

A History of Mental Health Struggles

I’ve struggled with mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and PMDD, since my teenage years. Before medication, I was underweight and had to defend my body size to classmates who spread rumors about my eating habits. But when I started gaining weight, the comments shifted from concern to criticism.

The Weight of Other People’s Opinions

As I gained weight, everyone in my life – from family to physicians – assumed that I was less healthy because of my size. They encouraged me to lose weight, despite my lab results showing no medical concerns. I realized that people’s opinions about my body were not only unwarranted but also damaging.

The Slippery Slope of Disordered Eating

In an attempt to lose weight, I began to develop disordered eating habits, obsessively counting calories, tracking my movements, and fixating on “healthy” foods. I joined a gym and forced myself into workouts I hated. But this pursuit of “health” only led to more harm, as I starved myself of a life lived fully.

The Illusion of “Health”

I even worked with a dietitian who supported my desire for intentional weight loss, giving me “health-conscious” swaps that only fueled my disordered eating. I took an “emotional eating” class that treated eating like an addiction. But these attempts at “health” only led to more weight cycling and health risks.

Finding Peace through Intuitive Eating

After years of struggling, I discovered Intuitive Eating, a self-care eating framework that promotes listening to my body’s needs. I started following Intuitive Eating dietitians and practitioners online, took an online course, and eventually invested in a coach. This was a turning point in my journey, as I learned to unlearn the diet culture and embrace my body at any size.

Embracing My Body, Imperfections and All

I no longer track my calories or wear a fitness tracker. I move my body in ways that feel good, and I make food choices that nourish me without restriction. I’ve learned to respect my body, even if I don’t love it. And I’ve realized that my disdain for my bigger body came from others’ comments, not from within.

Taking Back My Power

I’ve taken back the power to respect my body, and I’m healing. I’ve learned that my worth is not tied to my size or shape. And I hope that my story can inspire others to break free from diet culture and embrace self-acceptance.