The Hidden Dangers of Online Shopping Addiction
A Dream Home Turns into a Nightmare
My husband and I had finally achieved our dream of owning a “forever home” in the fall of 2019. With four bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a spacious living area, it was the perfect place to start a family. We had a budget for furnishing the house, prioritizing the shared entertainment spaces and guest bedrooms. But as the pandemic hit, I found myself feeling anxious about the empty rooms and hollow closets. I began to fill the space with more and more stuff, lying to my husband about the prices and hiding my debt.
A Web of Deceit
I convinced myself that I was being responsible, but in reality, I was racking up a staggering $33,000 worth of debt. I lied about the cost of overpriced mattresses and couches, and even went so far as to charge my own card $9,000 for a luxury car down payment. My husband, who works for a major credit card company, had no idea about the extent of our debt. He thought we had around $10,000 in manageable debt, but the truth was three times that amount.
The Root of the Problem
In therapy, I realized that my spending was not just a result of anxiety, but also an act of rebellion against my husband’s controlling behavior. He has an obsessive personality, which can be beneficial in some areas, but also makes him judgmental and unforgiving. I felt suffocated by his need for control, and my spending was a way of asserting my independence. However, this realization also made me acknowledge my own flaws and take responsibility for my actions.
A Marriage on the Brink
My husband’s lack of emotional intelligence and intuition made it difficult for us to communicate effectively. He would often dismiss my feelings, telling me to be more grateful for our privileged life. I felt shamed and guilted, and our relationship began to deteriorate. When I suggested couple’s counseling, he refused, citing it as a waste of money. This was the final straw for me, and I realized that our marriage was not sustainable.
Lessons Learned
In the end, my online shopping addiction was not the sole reason for our separation, but it was a catalyst for self-reflection. I’ve learned to take responsibility for my actions, and I’ve come to realize my worth as an individual. I’ve also learned that relationships require effort and communication from both parties. While my husband’s flaws were not the only reason for our separation, they certainly contributed to the breakdown of our marriage.
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