Ask for Favors with Integrity

The Art of Asking for Favors: A Guide to Genuine Requests

Receiving messages from old connections can be a mixed bag. On one hand, it’s great to hear from someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. On the other hand, it’s often clear that they’re only reaching out because they need something from you.

The Mistake We All Make

When asking for a favor, many of us make the mistake of trying to butter up the person we’re asking. We lavish them with praise and try to make small talk before getting to the point. However, this approach often comes across as insincere and can be off-putting.

A Better Approach

Instead of trying to sweet-talk someone into doing you a favor, try being straightforward and honest. Get straight to the point and ask for what you need. This approach is not only more respectful, but it’s also more effective.

The Power of Plain Honesty

Let’s take a look at an example of how a simple sentence shuffle can make all the difference:

Before:
“Hey Lauren, long time no see! I hope you’re well. Facebook tells me you’ve got a new job. Nice! How’s that going? We should catch up for coffee soon, I’d love to see you again. I’ve recently opened my own boutique online clothing store. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind following my store on Instagram and giving my website a review?”

After:
“Hey Lauren, I’ve recently opened my own boutique online clothing store. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind following my store on Instagram and giving my website a review? I hope you’re well. Facebook tells me you’ve got a new job. Nice! How’s that going? We should catch up for coffee soon, I’d love to see you again.”

Which version do you prefer? Which one feels more genuine?

The Three Golden Rules of Favor-Asking

When asking for a favor, remember these three golden rules:

  1. Be Straight Up: People respect straightforwardness. No pity parties and no groveling.
  2. Make Sure It’s Reciprocal: Only ask someone who you would genuinely be willing to return a favor to. Give and take is the name of the game.
  3. “Would I Do This For Someone Else?”: Don’t ask anything of anyone that you wouldn’t mind doing yourself if asked.

By following these rules and being genuine in your requests, you’ll be more likely to get the help you need. Remember, it’s not what you say, it’s the way that you say it. Keep it clean, concise, and classy.

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