She Strengthens

Unlocking the Patterns That Hold You Back

Have you ever felt stuck, despite your best efforts to move forward? You’re not alone. Many of us struggle with patterns of behavior and thought that hinder our progress and lead to feelings of failure.

Recognizing the Enemy Within

The first step towards breaking free is to acknowledge these patterns. Kayla, from the UK, reached out to share her struggles: “I often feel stuck, despite reading books, working with a therapist, and listening to podcasts. I realize I’m stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk, unrealistic expectations, and self-doubt. I can see this is a pattern, but I don’t know how to change it.”

The Three Primary Anti-Success Strategies

There are three primary patterns that hold us back: belittling ourselves, moving the goalposts, and denial. These strategies can be subtle, but they’re powerful obstacles to achieving our goals.

• Belittling Ourselves: How often do we criticize ourselves, downplay our achievements, and focus on our shortcomings? This constant negativity creates a sense of never being good enough.
• Moving the Goalposts: We set a goal, work towards it, and then suddenly add more requirements, making it impossible to achieve. This pattern prevents us from celebrating our successes and moving forward.
• Denial: We deny our desires, needs, and feelings, often as a form of self-protection. This denial holds us back from taking action and making progress.

Reframing Failure

It’s time to reframe our understanding of failure. Instead of seeing it as a negative experience, let’s view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Ask yourself:
* What can I learn from this experience?
* Is this failure a result of one of the anti-success strategies?
* How can I reframe this experience to see it in a new light?

Breaking Free

By recognizing these patterns and reframing our mindset, we can break free from the cycles that hold us back. Take small steps towards change by asking yourself:
* What am I afraid of?
* What’s holding me back?
* What small shift can I make today to move forward?

Remember, you are not constantly failing. You may be using your greatness against yourself, but now you know. Make the choice to break free and unlock your true potential.