She Strengthens

Embracing the Journey to Self-Love and Fulfillment

Growing up, I had grand visions of a fairy tale wedding, just like many others. But as I approached my 30s, unmarried and uncertain, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d missed my chance. My on-again, off-again relationship at the time only added to the anxiety, making me wonder if something was wrong with me.

Unpacking Childhood Baggage

As a child of struggling immigrant parents in an affluent suburb, I learned that success was measured by material gains, career advancement, and marriage by 28. When these milestones eluded me, I struggled to cope. On the outside, I appeared strong and fearless, but inside, I harbored anxiety and anger. I masked my emotions with everyday stressors, carrying insecurity like an invisible burden, and neglecting self-love.

A Turning Point

By my mid-20s, the reality of being single hit me hard. I panicked, feeling like my whole life was in transition. Most of my friends had gotten married and moved on, leaving me feeling left behind. So, at 30, I made the bold decision to move to a new city, seeking a fresh start. Looking back, I wish I’d dealt with my issues head-on instead of suppressing them.

Lessons from the Front Lines of Love

My first committed relationship forced me to confront my demons. I learned that love isn’t about completing each other, but about being whole and self-aware individuals coming together. Here are three essential lessons I discovered on my journey:

1. Self-Love is the Foundation of True Connection

Age 21 may mark the beginning of adulthood, but it’s just the starting point for self-exploration. Develop your passions, purposes, and values beyond your current job. What you want in your 20s may change dramatically by your 30s. Free yourself from the pressure of finding a partner and focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

2. Your 30s: The Decade of Peak Confidence

Your 30s are a time of growth, confidence, and self-acceptance. You’re no longer trying to prove yourself to others; you’re free to make choices on your own terms. This is the perfect time to develop your deeper identity, embracing your differences and becoming more comfortable in your own skin.

3. Patience is the Key to True Fulfillment

Good things come to those who wait. Patience allows you to appreciate the beauty of life, just like a slow-cooked meal. Waiting also fosters gratitude and a deeper happiness that isn’t dependent on immediate gratification. Take Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, for example – they met in their 30s, when they were mature and ready to fully love each other.

Embracing the Journey

At the end of the day, if you want to get married, your plans can become a reality, but only on your maturity’s timetable. Maturity is a better prerequisite for marriage than age. So, take a deep breath, be patient, and focus on becoming the best version of yourself. You deserve to fully enjoy your happily-ever-after.