She Strengthens

Rethinking Socializing: How to Be a Supportive Friend to Those Who Don’t Drink

In many cultures, learning to drink responsibly is a rite of passage into adulthood. However, for some individuals, growing up means realizing that alcohol shouldn’t be a part of their life at all. With over 14 million Americans struggling with an alcohol use disorder, socializing can become awkward and isolating for those who’ve given up booze.

Breaking Free from Awkwardness

It’s essential for drinkers to be considerate of their sober friends. One crucial aspect is not drawing attention to what someone is or isn’t drinking. Avoid making overdramatic comments that might make a person feel singled out. Simply ask once if a nondrinking friend minds you drinking in front of them, but don’t keep asking if they’re “sure.”

Respecting Boundaries

Let nondrinkers decide for themselves if they want to attend events where alcohol is present. If you’re hosting a party or dinner, have nonalcoholic beverages on hand that you know your sober friends enjoy. If you’re unsure, send them a text to see if there’s anything they’d like you to pick up.

Beyond Booze: Alternative Activities

Consider how much alcohol dictates your activities. Mix up your outings with other activities that don’t revolve around drinking. Sober hangouts are better when you don’t make a big deal of the fact that you’re doing it on purpose.

NA Options: A Mixed Bag

Not all nondrinkers love nonalcoholic beer and spirits. Some find them unpalatable, while others may be triggered by these substitutes. Always ask, rather than assume, what your sober friends are interested in and comfortable drinking.

Mindful Conversations

Be mindful of how you talk about drinking around your nondrinking friends. Avoid fetishistic talk about drinks and drinking, or excessive drunkenness, as it can be annoying or distressing for someone in recovery. If they tell you something is making them uncomfortable, apologize and change subjects.

Avoid Probing Questions

Remember your basic manners. Don’t ask casual acquaintances personal questions about their history with substances. Avoid asking nondrinkers about their rock bottoms or wild stories, as this information is none of your business.

The Significance of Sobriety

Using the term “sober” could be offensive to some in recovery. Don’t automatically assume that you know what a person in recovery is experiencing. Sobriety is a life-long recovery journey for those overcoming addiction, and we should be careful not to diminish its significance.