She Strengthens

The True Meaning of Intent vs. Impact: A Lesson from “Happiest Season”

When I sat down to watch “Happiest Season,” I had heard all the buzz about its problems – the whiteness, the boredom, and the toxic behavior. But what really caught me off guard was the film’s central plot. Harper’s deception about being out to her family and her subsequent introduction of Abby as her roommate left me stunned. The conflict escalated as Harper continued to act straight, erasing Abby’s identity and making her feel uncomfortable and discarded.

Empathy vs. Accountability

We’re expected to empathize with Harper, who wants to spend Christmas with her partner, but struggles with her family’s heteronormative expectations. However, we can’t ignore the harm caused by her actions. Good intentions don’t excuse the impact of our behavior. We’ve all been in relationships where someone’s lack of honesty led to hurt and confusion. The conversation about intent vs. impact is crucial in understanding that our intentions don’t justify the harm we cause.

Defining Intent and Impact

Intent refers to the aim or plan behind our actions, which can differ from the results. Impact, on the other hand, is the resulting effect, whether positive or negative. Separating intent from impact is essential in making amends. Focusing on explaining the intent behind harm caused can make the person harmed feel unseen or unheard.

The Importance of Radical Communication

Radical honesty and radical receptivity are key to building supportive relationships. Communicating our inner truths with courage and compassion helps nurture deeper connections. Practicing radical honesty means sharing our experiences and needs openly, without fear of rejection. Radical receptivity involves receiving someone’s truth with curiosity and accountability.

A Lesson in Accountability

In “Happiest Season,” Harper’s lack of informed consent and manipulation of Abby’s boundaries led to hurt and betrayal. If Harper had practiced radical honesty, the outcome might have been different. The film highlights the importance of clear communication, boundary-setting, and negotiation in relationships.

Conclusion

The intent vs. impact conversation is a crucial one in relationships and beyond. By prioritizing radical communication and separating intent from impact, we can build stronger, more supportive connections. Remember, good intentions don’t excuse harm caused – it’s time to focus on the impact and take responsibility for our actions.