She Strengthens

Breaking Free from Hierarchical Love

As I reflect on my journey, I realize that my quest for love was once rooted in a desire to escape the pain of a toxic relationship. I sought solace in supporting others, particularly during the birthing process, where I witnessed the transformative power of love and comfort. However, this experience also made me aware of the fragility of certain relationships and the importance of reciprocity.

Rethinking Romantic Love

I used to believe that romantic love was the key to salvation, but I’ve come to understand that this notion is flawed. The concept of relationship anarchy, coined by Andie Nordgren, resonates with me. It emphasizes that relationships shouldn’t be hierarchical, and that friendships, for instance, are just as valuable as romantic partnerships. By adopting this mindset, I’ve been able to break free from the pressure of finding “the one.”

The Myth of the Soul Mate

Let’s face it: there is no one person out there waiting for us. We are complete individuals, worthy of love and respect, regardless of our relationship status. Prioritizing romance over other relationships can be damaging, leading us to neglect our communities and ourselves. By recognizing the value of diverse connections, we can cultivate a more fulfilling life.

The Dangers of Unhealthy Expectations

Upholding hierarchical relationships as the norm can lead to heartache and unnecessary pain. When we place all our emotional eggs in one basket, we risk being overwhelmed and trapped. For me, being in love under patriarchal ideals felt suffocating, like I was constantly seeking validation from others.

Focusing on Growth and Transformation

I’ve come to realize that I was missing out on meaningful connections by prioritizing romantic love. By shifting my focus to friendships, family, and self-care, I’ve discovered a sense of freedom and empowerment. I’ve learned to cherish the people in my life, without relying on one person to complete me.

Embracing a New Path

My journey has taught me that love comes in many forms, and that I deserve to be loved and respected by myself and others. I’ve found a sense of belonging among like-minded individuals who value mutual support and growth. While some may question my choices, I know that I’m worthy of commitment and love, and that’s all that matters.