She Strengthens

Finding Comfort in Uncertain Times

When faced with adversity, we often hear the phrase “it gets better.” But what does that really mean? Is it a promise of a brighter future, or just a way to placate our current struggles? For me, it’s a reminder to take things one day at a time. My friend Sam’s wise words stuck with me during a difficult breakup, and I’ve carried them with me ever since.

Redefining Comfort

Before the pandemic, my comfort routine consisted of avoiding reminders of the past by staying busy outside of my apartment. But when self-isolation became a reality, I had to rethink my approach. At first, my anxiety skyrocketed, and even my usual coping mechanisms didn’t bring me peace. I realized that comfort isn’t just about indulging in luxuries, but about finding ways to cope with the present moment.

From Distraction to Relief

Comfort is a spectrum that ranges from distraction to relief. It’s not about promising a happy ending, but about getting through each moment. My therapist reminds me that comfort starts with self-compassion – being kind to myself and acknowledging what I need in the present. It’s about recognizing that there are no good or bad days, just good or bad moments that make up a day.

Practicing Self-Compassion

Once I accepted the pandemic as a harbinger of grief, I was able to slip back into a familiar pattern of wallowing, healing, and rebuilding. I’ve readjusted my expectations for comfort from things I want to things I need. I’ve learned to accept crying spontaneously as a treat, and to find joy in simple activities like watching noodles of exfoliated skin float down the drain or cross-stitching with a friend.

Recalibrating Your Definition of Comfort

The best advice I can offer is to recalibrate your definition of comfort. It might look like stress eating or turning digital worlds off to enjoy a new book. It could be tending to your houseplants or finally joining an online fitness class that doesn’t make you feel bad about your body. It’s whatever grounds you in reality rather than pretense, so you can come out of this tunnel without too deep of scars from anxiety and loneliness.

Finding Power in Self-Soothing

There are many things out of our control right now, but if we remind ourselves that the power to soothe comes first from within, then we’ll find comfort in times of uncertainty. By focusing on self-compassion and redefining what comfort means to us, we can find peace in the present moment and emerge stronger on the other side.