Breaking Through the Silence: My Journey with Hearing Loss
As a music producer, rapper, and composer, I’ve always known that music is a vital part of my life. But when I began to experience gradual onset hearing loss, it felt like my passion was being taken away from me. I couldn’t hear the high frequencies, and my music suffered as a result.
The Struggle to Hear
My hearing loss is high register, meaning I miss out on the top chunk of frequency. Without my hearing assistance, I’m lucky to get as high as 8,000 Hz, compared to the 16,000 Hz that adults with healthy ears can hear. It’s like trying to fingerpaint with shoes on your hands – frustrating and limiting.
Social Anxiety and Isolation
As my hearing loss worsened, socializing became a daunting task. I’d strain to hear conversations, making excuses for not understanding what was being said. I developed a protective shell, using humor and non sequiturs to deflect from my struggles. I became both shy and abrasively extroverted, desperate to fit in.
The Impact on My Music
As a musician, my hearing loss had a profound impact on my work. I’d try to create music, but it would sound half-baked or oppressive. I knew what sounds I wanted, but couldn’t hear what I was creating. It was like driving a car made of vodka Jell-O shots.
Finding Inspiration
But I’m not alone. Many musicians have overcome hearing loss to create incredible music. Beethoven, Brian Wilson, Andrew Huang, and TOKiMONSTA are just a few examples of artists who have persevered despite their hearing challenges.
The Turning Point
It wasn’t until I visited an audiologist that I realized the extent of my hearing loss. The diagnosis was a wake-up call, and I began to take my condition seriously. I waited nine months for hearing aids, and when I finally got them, it was life-changing.
A New Lease on Life
With my hearing aids, music came alive again. I could hear the frequencies I had been missing, and my love for music and socializing grew. I became more confident in my abilities, and my self-esteem soared. I started taking myself seriously as a musician and craftsman, and my relationships improved as a result.
Lessons Learned
My journey with hearing loss has taught me to be kinder to myself, to value my time, and to communicate more effectively with others. I’ve learned to appreciate the little things, like being able to hear birds singing or enjoying a conversation without straining.
Breaking Through the Silence
Hearing loss doesn’t have to define us. With the right support and tools, we can overcome our challenges and thrive. I’m living proof that with determination and perseverance, we can break through the silence and find our voice again.
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