Uncovering the Hidden Patterns of Trauma
Life is a rollercoaster of ups and downs, and it’s inevitable that we’ll encounter moments that leave a lasting impact. For many of us, those moments are labeled as trauma. Today, we’re going to explore how trauma shapes our behaviors and what we can do to identify and overcome its effects.
A Personal Story of Trauma
Kim from Detroit shared her story of struggling to come to terms with her father’s passing. Despite their complicated history of abuse, Kim had suppressed her feelings to maintain a relationship with him. However, as her family began to open up about their experiences, Kim realized that her memories didn’t align with theirs. This disconnect led to a resurgence of old patterns, such as needing to prove herself and struggling to set boundaries. Kim’s question is one that many of us can relate to: how can we identify if we have unhealed trauma guiding our behaviors?
Defining Trauma
Trauma is not just a singular event; it’s a complex emotional, physical, and mental response to a distressing experience. Unlike everyday challenges, traumatic events often feel sudden, unpredictable, and beyond our control. They can rock our sense of safety and comfort, leaving a lasting impact on our well-being.
Identifying Unhealed Trauma
So, how can we recognize the signs of unhealed trauma in our lives? The answer lies in exploring our personal experiences and emotions. Here are some steps to help you start processing trauma:
Step 1: Share Your Story
Begin by sharing your experiences, feelings, and thoughts. Write them down, record yourself, or tell a trusted friend or family member. Don’t downplay your emotions or sugarcoat your experiences. Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions.
Step 2: Explore Your Feelings
Examine how each experience made you feel. Write sentences that start with “This is how I felt when…” or “This made me feel…”. Stay with your emotions rather than pushing them away.
Step 3: Connect the Dots
Explore how those moments have impacted and shaped your life. Look at the connection between then and now, and how those experiences have influenced who you are today.
Step 4: Create a Plan for Growth
Give yourself space to state what you want from this point forward. Create a plan for your growth and change, and allow yourself to move forward.
Taking Control of Your Mindset
Remember, you are in charge of your mindset. If you identify patterns or behaviors that make you uncomfortable, ask yourself why they’re there and what you’re going to do about it. Take control of your life and give yourself space to be free from anything that hasn’t worked for you.
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